AITA for my birthday getting ruined?

so, ever since i was 5 my parents have always ruined my birthday. and today is my 17th birthday, and uh well everything was going well i asked my mom not to arrange for a cake but she still did it which i didn't mind that much. but my dad hadn't wished me since the morning (my relationship with my dad is very rocky and isn't the best) and so they pulled this insensitive prank on me that he's not gonna come to my birthday. i started crying and throwing a fit, telling them how greatful i am for this birthday and for making me cry. and if they force me to cut the cake i'll throw it. my mom got pissed and started to cry and threw the cake herself and along with this came some unsaid words and i told my mom how she's always excusing my dad for his behavior towards us, and how a day before my birthday she wished she never got a daughter like me in the rest of her lives. well, everyone keeps blaming me and saying i'm at fault but no one wants to understand my perspective on this. my sister even went as far as to say that i'm dead to her. i do feel bad for making them feel this way, and i wanna get out of the house and not be in contact with them for the rest of my lives so they don't have to face me. am i the asshole?