AITAH for declining a second date with a guy after he disrespected me?

So for some background, I (17F) come from an upper middle class family. We’re not rich-rich (no yachts, mansions, etc) but we as a family are pretty well off. I don’t have to work but I work just for fun. I can spend more money on my hobbies and interests and we take a few nice vacations every year. A few weeks ago, I met this guy named Kyle who seemed pretty cool. We met through mutual friends and he goes to a different school. After a few weeks of getting to know each other we decided to plan a dinner together. We had talked a bit before meeting up, and during those conversations, he asked me about my family’s financial situation. Now I’ve been raised to not flaunt anything but also don’t straight up lie, so I said that we’re doing pretty well. Kyle didn’t seem to mind at the time, so I didn’t think much of it. We met up for dinner, and things started out fine, just casual conversation.

When the dinner started, We talked about school and then family. That’s when Kyle opened up about his family problems. Apparently his parents both work low paying jobs and they aren’t living paycheck to paycheck but pretty close. Kyle mentioned how he had to work extra hours just to bring extra money and stuff. I felt sorry for him and just replied “Wow that seems really difficult.”

But pretty quickly, he started making passive-aggressive comments about people with money. At first, Kyle was talking about rich people in general, saying things like how they’re out of touch, selfish, and don’t care about anyone but themselves. I figured he was just venting, but then he started making snide remarks that felt targeted toward me.

During the dinner I mentioned how I love to travel. That’s when his tone shifted, and he made this sarcastic comment like, “Oh, must be nice to be able to travel all the time. Some of us have to actually save up for a year just to leave the state.”

I tried to brush it off, but then Kyle kept going, making passive-aggressive remarks. He said something like, “Yeah, I bet you’ve been to all the fancy places: Bali, Rome, Dubai. Meanwhile, the rest of us are stuck doing small beach vacations.” I awkwardly laughed and said, “Well the beach is fun!” But then he replied, “Well your definition of the beach is the Palm Jumeriah for you rich people right? Not like Ocean City. We all know you money guys only like high end private beaches.” I wasn’t sure how to respond so I just laughed awkwardly.

The rest of the date just went downhill from there. Every time the topic of my travels came up, Kyle would throw in little jabs. He made a joke about how “people like me” wouldn’t understand what it’s like to work for things or budget, and that I probably “not satisfied with an economy level seat.” He even said “I know I chose this restaurant but I guess it’s not really cool enough for rich people right?” It felt like he was taking all his frustration about money and directing it at me personally.

By the end of the date, I was completely over it. I felt uncomfortable and I was starting to hate this guy. Afterward, Kyle texted me saying he had a great time and wanted to go out again. I politely declined, saying I enjoyed the date but didn’t think we were a good match. That’s when he got upset and accused me of being shallow, saying I didn’t like him because he wasn’t rich. He said I was proving his point about how rich girls only date other rich guys and how apparently he wasn’t good enough for me because he was poor. He said he should’ve expected how insensitive I would be to his struggles. After that he blocked me. Now I’m wondering if he was right about my insensitivity and how I’m shallow. AITA?

Posted Sep 16, 2024, 6:54 PM UTC

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