I'm having a really hard time with my parents plans for Thanksgiving this year...

I haven't been officially diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure that I have Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). It's what a lot of people dismiss as "picky eatingc" and for a long time I did too, but somebody told me that if you're actually struggling to get down "normal" foods such as apples and carrots, it's probably ARFID. It does explain a lot of my eating habits.

In any case, Thanksgiving is one of the few holidays I actually enjoy celebrating. For the past several years it's just been me and my parents. This year, however, a bunch of relatives are coming over, and the gathering is going to be earlier than Thanksgiving Day. I want to see them because it's been such a long time, but it is a sudden change in plans, and I have a hard time with that.

I'll admit that I like a lot of the starchy foods (stuffing, potatoes, Crescent rolls) but unfortunately they don't eat most of this stuff save for the stuffing. My mom tells me they want to have their traditional Thanksgiving dinner that my mom's family grew up with, and unfortunately it doesn't include most of those things. I think my cousin might have celiac disease and therefore doesn't eat bread, so no rolls.

I typically help Mom out in the kitchen on Thanksgiving, and I don't mind making some of these things at home and bringing them to my parents' house, but tbh, I'd rather enjoy the company on the day they are here, and then have a usual meal with just me and my parents on Thanksgiving Day. Mom doesn't feel up for making another turkey, but she says we can have chicken, and it's been a long time since I've had a freshly-cooked whole chicken. My dad used to eat whole chicken but he says lately he hasn't been eating them, but they're willing to do it for me.

Mom said that she's willing to do a turkey dinner for Christmas, but it's not something we usually do. My parents are Jewish albeit non-observant (and not to get political, but no, do not support Israel during this current situation), so we typically do the "ancient tradition" of getting Chinese food on Christmas Day. We have a small tree, but aside from that we really don't do anything for Christmas. I've been wanting to have a homemade meal for Christmas and I would of course help out in the kitchen like I do on Thanksgiving.

But as I've grown up, I've become increasingly aware that the world doesn't revolve around me. I get the impression that my parents are willing to do these extra meals because I want to do them, but it isn't what they would normally do, and I don't want to be a burden. Thanksgiving is about being grateful, and Christmas is about giving. So I don't want to be a burden on either of those days.

Does anyone else struggle with this?