Today is my birthday...

...and I asked my ASD 17-y.o. son to attend a VIP soccer tourney this Sunday as my only gift. He staunchly doesn't want to go, but his coach wrote us a kind email asking him to attend, saying how much his teammates need him, etc., and I thought framing it as a gift to me juuuuuust might make him change his mind. How wrong I was. An immediate "HARD NO" reply via text just has me spiraling into deep sadness today. I would give anything to do a favor for my deceased father, and it just hit me hard that he'll never be that son. I feel like little more than an ATM to him. I know he loves me on a fundamental level, but he can't relate to me, doesn't think of others' feelings, won't do even this simple thing as a gift to his dad. I'm just really sad today. Any thoughts on how to move forward? Thank you for listening.