I became ‘woke’ the same time they became old and frail

Therefore I should forgive them right? I should look at them and see how weak their old age has made them. I should sympathize how their own lack of planning for the future is my responsibility.

My entire family sees me as heartless because I’m happy and in a good place. Safe and protected. You would think they would be okay with that. They all had front row seats to my traumatic childhood and did nothing to protect me.

My parents bleed all over anyone who will listen because it’s a good way to deflect from their own insecurities. So much easier to blame their child for their issues than to look at how their own actions have shaped their current life.

They have financial issues, but my mother has never had a job. Why? Because she doesn’t drive. Why? She tells everyone she’s scared to drive. But it’s not the driving she’s scared of. It’s the responsibility. If she drives then she has to work, go grocery shopping, take herself to the doctor, etc. So for her it’s simple: don’t drive = zero responsibility.

I grew up doing everything for her. And the minute I got a driver’s license, I was her chauffeur. Then I met a wonderful man and got married and had children. Now I’m the bad guy. When they have to call family begging for money it’s because their horrible child isn’t doing anything to support them.

This is why my entire family is so angry with me. They are financially and emotionally supporting them because of me - a horrible person who prioritized her husband and children. How dare I be at peace with my life when I have parents who are old and frail?