seeking advice if i’m a bad friend

I (18f) have been mulling over this for a few months now but i’m not sure i can make a good judgement and i don’t have anyone i can talk to this about so i’m looking for advice here. to start off you should know that i’m a rather shy and introverted person and have a low social battery ans generally low energy to do anything at all, which also stems from my depression i’ve been struggling with for years. i rather stay at home than go out most of the time but that doesn’t mean i won’t join a person somewhere if i’m asked. i have a best friend (18f), let’s call her mia, who is one of my only friends, as i keep my circle close but also struggle to make friends because of my personality. i actually only have to friends, including her. now we have only been friends for roughly 4 years but we immediately got along very well and quickly befriended each other. it was all fine until a few months ago, when it was her birthday. we went out to the club together with another friend (she is someone i knew for a long time and they got close because of me). i had never been to the club before so i was actually disappointed when we were there as the music was really boring and repetitive. at this point i admit i acted a bit like an asshole because i visibly did not enjoy the music. i feel like it is important to note at this point that i had been in an accident the same day, a few hours before, where i had been hit by a car while on my scooter. luckily nothing bad happened and i got away with a few abrasions but obviously i was still a little bit shaken up. i did try my best to not try to show that i didnt enjoy myself because i didnt want to ruin her day but i guess it was kinda obvious. she did confront me about it and i heavily apologised and we talked it out along with a few other smaller issues we had and i thought everythings fine but i feel like she has been keeping her distance from me a bit. i keep seing that she is going out with that other friend a lot, the one that was with us that day, on the weekends and also during the week. this may seem simple but it’s really not. that other friend, let’s call her lisa (18f) is someone i was not always on good terms with and mia knows that. she used to be in our grade but left school to start working earlier. mia knows that lisa had often used me over the past 8 years we’ve known each other and i was always oblivious about it until recently. she would get close to me one day and act like we are besies and the next day ignore me to hangout with others. i was in a friend group with her and two other girls and i always felt like a bonus no one wanted there, because they always excluded me, lisa did that as well. she always used me whenever she needed me and threw me away when she didn’t and i always ran back because i didn’t understand that when we were younger. mia knows all of this because she was already there when most of it happened. i always feel left out when they meet and i see it in their insta stories ans kind of an ache in my heart but i know i shouldn’t because it also is kind of my own fault. i never really ask to meet up and my mia did mention this as an issue, because she felt like she was the only one putting effort into this friendship. obviously i apologised for that because i didnt know i made her feel this way and told her it’s not because of her but because of my mental health declining and i don’t have the energy to do anything much less ask someone to go out. she is a very outgoing person and while i dont need to do much she needs to always do something or she gets bored. thats why i also dont say anything when i see that they were out together. i’m not that kind of friend that forbids her bsf to have other friends and i really wouldn’t mind if she went out that frequently with others. but it does bother me that it is lisa when she knows our history. especially because they are suddenly so close for example (that’s a small one but just for context) i used to be in lisas private snap story for close friends, but she removed me which i didnt notice until mia and i were chilling and i saw on her phone that she was in lisas private story. i never had a bad fall out with lisa we just kinda didnt contact each other anymore but honestly she isnt someone i miss in my life. what i like to add is that i feel like whenever i open up to mia about my problems, she doesnt really care and shuts it down really quick. like when we had that talk after the club incident and i explained my issues with my declining mental health and i kinda started tearing up she quickly tried to change the subject and make me stop crying as if she was embarrassed. i know we were in a public space at that time but i feel like if it was her i would have tried to comfort her instead of getting embarrassed about ur friend crying in public? or am i the only one. another time was when i was at her house and we were talking and we kinda talked about my mother. for context, i dont have the best relationship with her and she is really draining to be with in a house. i tried opening up to her about my concerns and issues but she only said like a few sentences to comfort me and shut that down real quickly again. i did consider that she maybe isnt really good at comforting people but knowing her she would have told me that beforehand. i am someone who doesnt open up often to other people so its not like i try to use her as a therapist every time we see each other. but i thought that once in a while you can open ul to a friend or not? one of her other issues is that whenever we went out and it got to the point of eating i would never order anything for myself and she sometimes paid for me. i used to be like that but i changed that at the beginning kf this year. i dont have an issue with eating it’s just that eating is kind of expensive and i growing up my parents taught me to always manage my money well. i also didnt have a job so my only money was my allowance from my parents. i did get a job last year but it’s not a consistent income so i only had money once every few months. so i didnt always order food for myself and i also never asked her to pay for me but thinking about it, it must have seen like i was using her and being greedy. well i used to be very greedy and hated to share (i’m an only child for context) but i have learned to share with others, especially my friends over the past few years. so actually whenever we went out this year and got food i would also order for myself. i did mention that but it felt like she didn’t think the same. i’m sorry if i was talking a lot and it seemed like i never made a point but i’m an overthinker and feel like mentioning all this felt relevant. i just feel like i’m a bad friend because i never really ask to go out etc. just as i said it’s not because i dont want to but more because i dont have to energy to ask but i wouldnt say no if i was asked out. i also know that makes my mia feel like she is the only one putting effort into this friendship but i also explained to her why. she is someone very precious to me and i dont wanna lose her but i dont know what to do and i feel like im a bad friend. so, please reddit help me, from what i was talking about, do you think i’m a bad friend? and if yes what can i do to be a better friend?