How to ACTUALLY make friends?

I am a 27F. The last time I had a friend was about 8 years ago, with a group of people I worked with. That naturally dissolved with everyone moving on to their adult life. I have not been able to make a friendship connection since.

I have had two long term relationships in this time, one from 19-23, and another from 25-27, but I was never able to connect with their friends.

I know the basic steps. Get a hobby, go out, meet people. I am looking for more detailed information on how to make the connection actually happen. I find myself constantly going out/ going to events/ going to group hobbies, and any and all conversation I attempt fizzles out almost immediately. I have tried Bumble BFF and the friendship matching on Facebook and that has also been a fail.

I want a friend group, but I feel like everyone else in the world is operating under a secret handbook that is written in a language I cannot read.

What’s your secret to making the connection happen once you’re out in the world? I already have step one down.