How do you grieve so many things at the same time?

We lost our little boy, our first and only child this year. In june I had TMFR at 34 weeks pregnant. An innocent growth scan at 29 weeks showed huge abnormalities. Delivery was a fiasco and I had a 4th degree tear. I have so much issues from it still, my body aches every day. I'm so physically and emotionally damaged that I don't know if it's possible for me to ever have more children. I'm coming to terms with it that this might very likely be my only child. I miss my baby so so much.

The guilt and regret are also such hard things to bear. I try not to blame myself but how can I not? One of the things I regret most is not going for a 3D scan at 25 weeks. We would have caught his condition sooner and that would have made a big difference. I also really regret that I cancelled my maternity shoot after we got the bad news. I thought I wouldn't want to have pictures of my baby belly because my pregnancy had 'gone wrong'. There is such huge regret now. I miss seeing what my baby belly looked like. And I might not ever see myself like that again. It brings tear to my eyes. I feel so stupid.

How do you grieve so many things at the same time?