Can I be saved ? (from New Age to Christianity or Jesus)

I’ve been dealing with a lot of pain in my life, and I’m feeling really lost. For years, I was into New Age practices like the law of attraction, tarot, and manifestation—always with good intentions, just trying to be happy and love life. At first, it felt like law of attract worked, but now it seems like I’m facing spiritual attacks. I wake up around 3 a.m. every night, I always have the worst things possible happening in my life (as if I got cursed) and it worries me a lot.

My friends and family introduced me to Christianity and told me I needed to repent. I genuinely want to believe in Jesus and explore this path, but I feel torn. Part of me feels selfish for feeling that way (as if my motive were just having faith so I can have a better life), and another part feels confused. All my life when I was doing things like meditation, wearing crystals, or affirmation videos, all I wanted to do was spreading Love to the world. Now all of a sudden I’m just a « lost person lead by the devil ». I have to do a lot of mental gymnastics. I always do everything for people before myself, I seize any opportunity I have to show and give love to anybody. I can’t even recall having enemies in my life. I also know I’m not perfect neither, but it’s hard for me to believe that I’m an evil person.

How can I repent ? Can I be forgiven, even if I’m still working through my confusion? Any advice would really mean a lot. Thank you.