Content Warning: Violence

I love animals. I love viewing nature documentaries/programs and I follow a bunch of nature related subreddits But as of recent I have somehow developed an intense animosity towards baby deer (particularly whitetail and mule deer ) and adult does ( females)to a lesser extent .Whenever I see videos of them I just fantasize of killing them in front of its mom. I often feel frustrated watching them being rescued from dire situations (being stuck in a fence or net). I also frequently search for videos of them being attacked and torn apart by predators, preferably bears as they typically don’t kill their prey before consuming it so I can watch the fawn scream in agony as it’s being eaten alive while the mother watches helplessly. I of course get disappointed when the mother or even human saves them from a smaller predator like a coyote, bobcat, domestic dog or even a skunk(yes a skunk I recall watching a video where a skunk is attacking a fawn until the camera man scared the skunk away, much to my disappointment.) .I really hope I never see one because I'm not sure if I would control my urges. The least I could do to it would be to rub my scent on it to increase the likelihood of it being discovered by a predator(the mothers groom their babies until they're scent free then hide them in tall vegetation for most of the day). I’m truly sorry if this posts disturbs any of you but like I said this feeling just developed out of nowhere within me.