Feeling a little disheartened about wedding planning

When I first got engaged I was so excited to start planning. My fiancé and I have talked about a small wedding in May 2026. I’ve been looking at Airbnbs, Vrbos, and a few venues. My fiancé does not want to plan right now, and I completely understand, we have a lot of time to plan right now and he wants to just enjoy our engagement for right now. When I show him anything or try to discuss anything Wedding related I’m “stressing him out”. I, on the other hand, would like to get everything over with so I don’t have to worry about later and then we can enjoy our engagement, but I get where he’s coming from. I tend to get overly excited and rush into things.

I would like to also invite my best friends and grandparents, when we last discussed he seemed pretty set on just having immediate family. He’s also very into planning a vacation to Alaska this May right now. Normally I’d be very excited to go, but him prioritizing this trip over wedding planning is making it hard for me to look forward to the trip.

My mom, on the other hand, is very clearly judging me on my wedding ideas. She wants me to wear her wedding dress and veil, which are gorgeous, but are a little much for what I’m going for. Also I’m not sure if I’ll even fit in the dress, she weighed 112 lbs when she got married. I’m in recovery from some a not-so-great relationship with food and I’ve gained 15 lbs of muscle from the working out and eating more. She also keeps asking me if I’m sure I want this small of a wedding, which is making me second guess if it’s really what I want, even though it was my idea. And to top it off, she’s judging how many bridesmaids I want, dress colors, etc. We’ve butt heads all my life because I feel like nothing I do is good enough and she’s very rarely supportive of my decisions, but for some reason I always feel the need to seek her approval.

All of these things combined are really kinda sucking the fun out of planning, and I’ve barely started. Anyone have any advice? Besides “dump him” because I’m not doing that lol, we usually don’t argue and we have pretty good communication.