I just deleted our messages.

We broke up 5 months ago, we were together for 2,5 years.

I feel weird.... But it feels okay as well. I've loved her for so long, and I still do. I just don't want her to break my heart like that again. I don't want her parents who don't like me. I don't want to feel heavy. I don't want to carry the relationship on my own. She was struggling with mental health and it took a toll on both of us. She started pushing me away and we broke up many times. She always regretted it and came back. I don't want that anymore. I still may want her back, but not like that again. I hope she gets better, I hope she stands up for herself towards her parents. But I realized those messages that I kept holding on to for so long only reminded me of all the heaviness. If we ever get a real chance again, I want to start over completely.

I feel a bit lighter again.