Advice :Friend’s misbehaving child and parenting is stressful

I’ve been friends with my friend since grade school we are now in our 20s. Long story short it’s hard to hang with her and struggling to stay friends due to her parenting style.

The kid runs EVERYTHING in the house, constantly throws tantrums, and is coddled in everything he does. I witness this behavior on multiple occasions and even more when they started coming over a few times ,her son ruined one of my chairs, dropped food throughout my house and jumping on my couches. She tends to irgnore him doing stuff like that until I continue to correct her son in my house then she semi steps in because she doesn’t want anyone correcting him.My friend is quick to take him anywhere and constantly running around to go to trampoline places,the park, going out of town to events he ask and literally running around to accommodate him.

He doesn’t take naps, refuses to eat his food,walks around in stained clothes and food all over his face and hand, interrupts her at any attention my friend gives to anything that’s not him.Hanging out turns into accommodating her son and forced to leave places, forced to watch and play with him because he refuses play alone for a bit and my friend doesn’t enforce any rules, boundaries or correct him.

Any store we go to he has to get a toy or go to a certain store to get whatever toy he’s requesting and whatever food he request that isn’t fulfilled turns into miserable high pitch crying because the kid doesn't want to eat the food she got him, and my friend says okay and then gives into running around to get food and repeats this later when he’s"hungry" again. He hits my friend and the dad when hes mad or throws stuff.

What really bothered me recently is my friend recently invited me over for a small get together . When I arrived the house was not set for guest but was a complete mess and dirty. Old food everywhere, nothing set up, toys ever and just an overall mess . My friend still went through with the event and still had guest come over as if everything was fine. Her son cried every 20 mins if she wasn’t coddling him, playing with him, yet he didn’t want to play with our other friends kids that were there because he didn’t want to share his toys.

She made food and he didn’t want that so he made a mess with it and she made him something else. We attempted to have dessert but that was short lived as he licked the cake and started licking pieces of the cupcakes and putting the decor back on so no one had dessert . He dumped drinks out on the table on the counter and when one of the guest went to wipe it up he poured it on their hand and my friend laughed it off saying he’s tired and told him to stop, he then started throwing stuff off the table. You could tell everyone was kinda taken back by his behavior as everyone just looked at him in shock and continued to make the comment “He’s ALOT”.

The entire time my friend was like oh he’s just sleepy and continued with the excuses.
I’ve been wanting to talk to her but also don’t feel it’s my place to tell someone how to raise their kid and finding it tough to even bring these issues up regarding her son’s behavior or her lack of parenting.

Ive taken the steps for my peace of mind by not having them at my house because I take too much pride in my space to have it messed up and her not taking the steps to correct him in anyway is overwhelming.I also avoid having to do stuff that he can come to as well but that has now eliminated hangouts with her because if it’s something he doesn’t want to do the plans are detoured to accommodating him which is frustrating especially when we plan to do stuff but she acts like her husband can’t watch him for a few hours.

I always try to make sure I stay good friends with my friends who have kids but this one has been my toughest friendship to maintain.I don't want them to feel like I've dropped them because of their kids behavior and parenting style but this is becoming a chore more than friendship.

Would love to get parent advice on a situation like this and is there a way to work through this?