Looking for support

Hi everyone,

I think I honestly created a Reddit account just for this. Support from others going through the same thing. The pinned post is very helpful but a sense of community I think will help. Here is my story (TW- details of pulling, grief)

I’ve been pulling for I’m not really sure how long. I would say it probably started in 2021 and has gotten progressively worse over the last 3 years. I pull from my scalp, it started with baby hairs at the crown but has moved a bit. I didn’t notice it was an issue until my mom had pointed it out while living with her and she found more hair than usual by my bedside one day and asked if I had. Embarrassed, I denied it. This was in 2022 and I realized I had been doing more than just twiddling my fingers and hair. At the time I thought oh no it’s another bad habit like biting my nails (that I do when anxious too). The next wake up call was I had cut my hair in 2022 and gone to my regular hair stylist, and she visibly noticed my hair had become much less full. My natural hair had always been thick and wavy/curly. I became more self conscious after she noticed. Later that year i had also put my hair into braids only to see they were far less thick than I remember. As 2022 progressed, I experienced a lot of stress from an old job, and familial issues, ending the year with losing my father that November. I was 25 at the time, and since then the pulling only got worse as I navigated handling the unexpected loss of a parent and real grief for the first time. 2023 I thought I would be able to stop but the habit had been in place. This year I have made a couple attempts to stop and catch myself but sometimes it is so unconscious I don’t know until it hurts.

I have not spoken to anyone about this because I am embarrassed and ashamed. I think i could talk to a couple family members and friends, but at the moment I’d prefer anonymity I think.

To this day I have not gone to get my hair styled or cut because I’m embarrassed it will be obvious to the stylist. My hair health has declined, and not grown much. I only wear my hair up or in a hat for the most part. When I do style it or straighten it I’m constantly self conscious that people will notice my hair looks silly. I would love to stop and I’m thinking of purchasing fidget toys or something. Being around others helps for the most part but now I find myself pulling in classroom and while driving, watching tv. The times I don’t pull are -exercising -in the early morning first few hours after waking up -around close friends and

If you have any more tips or tricks or words of encouragement, I could really use it. I would love to start 2025 with a head start in beating Trich.

If you’ve read this all the way, thank you for your time to read my story. 💞