The Finest Little Honky Tonk on Skalga [7]

Thank you to u/SpacePaladin15 for the universe and thanks to the other fanfic writers for giving me the inspiration for this little masterpiece of nonsense I have cooked up.

[First] | [Prev]

------

Memory Transcription Subject: Halin. Very Nervous Venlil. Honky Tonk Employee

Date: [Standardized Human time] December 21, 2137

A silent battle of wills plays out before Tiltva and I, or rather nearly silent as the small Farsul girl repeatedly stomps her foot on the hardwood. Her and Ray have been locked in a stare down for a few moments now, but Ray finally speaks.

“I’m going to ask only one more time. Could you please give your morning greeting another try and apologize to our guests?”

“But they do smell like Venlil! Why did you let them in here? Look at what they do to you!”

Do we really smell? Is it good, bad, or just distinct? I guess we can’t really tell… Wait, what did we do?

Ray looks down at his scratched and scabbed arms, the result of saving Thyla from that nasty Venlil attacker. He smiles faintly and looks back at his daughter.

“Please just say ‘Good Morning, I’m sorry’ and then come over here.”

The girl lightly growls but still complies with her dad’s command.

“Good Morning Dad.” She turns towards us. “Sorry.”

She then stomps over to Ray and stops stiffly and angrily at his feet. Ray then takes his hands and cups them over her eyes before using his fingers to scratch her head and ears. She holds her rigid posture as she angrily barks at him.

“DAD!”

Ray doesn’t stop scratching, nor does he uncover her eyes. In fact, his expression is almost indeterminate and besides the gentleness of his hands one might think he is sad? Soon Thyla’s tail begins to wag and her face slightly blooms blue. She barks much happier this time.

“Daaad!”

Ray doesn’t cease his efforts, if anything he holds her tighter and keeps going. He definitely now wears a face of weary sadness. Thyla seems to notice his mood from under his hands as she barks concernedly.

“Dad?”

Ray softly smiles and leans over to place a bite kiss on the crown of her head as he uncovers her eyes. She looks back at him as he wipes away what little remains of tears from under her eyes. Finally, Ray responds to Thyla.

“Did you clean your ears today?”

“Yes?”

Ray narrows his eyes in response.

“No…”

“Raise your ears.”

As Thyla’s floppy ears lift up above her head, Ray reaches into a back pocket on his lower pelt and removes two small paper packets. Ripping one open, he pulls out a small wet wipe and begins to clean the inside of one ear. Discarding the first wipe, he then opens the second and cleans the other ear all the while Thyla’s tail wags and she leans into his hands. Throwing away the second wipe, Ray straightens back up and addresses the three of us. 

“How ‘bout I get started on breakfast? Now what to make… I haven’t used the waffle iron in a while and this seems like as good an excuse as any.”

Tiltva asks Ray a much needed question in the kitchen of human.

“And these ‘waffles’ don’t have any animal products in them right?”

Surprisingly, Thyla answers for her dad.

“No. They. Don’t.”

Ray furls his brow and stares down at the girl.

“Please don’t be so antagonistic, but correct. No animal products. Now Thyla, can you set the table and get our guests some more coffee or whatever they’d like?”

Thyla nods before bringing a set of utensils, glasses, and placemats to the dining room table. Ray smiles in approval as he begins to move about the kitchen grabbing various ingredients and supplies for first meal while he starts a song on his pad which plays across the kitchen and dining room. Thyla then goes to the coffee pot and looks at us before signing to ask “More?". Tiltva and I both sign back “No”. Thyla then goes to the fridge and grabs two drink containers. One filled with a white fluid and the other blood orange. 

Well, neither human or Farsul blood are orange so maybe the implications are lost on her?

Thyla brings the containers to the table and signs ”Sit” to Tiltva and I. At the table, Thyla has become rigid again as she takes a set of glasses for us and fills one with the orange fluid and the other with the white drink. She pushes the orange one to me and the white one to Tiltva before signing “Drink” to us. I raise my glass to my lips and Tiltva hers to hers as we simultaneously take sips of the strange drinks. 

Immediately I am overwhelmed by the pure sour of a fruit juice that, although acidic, wonderfully coats the inside of my mouth and throat as I continue to drink. Eventually, I pull the glass away to take a breath and look to my side to see Tiltva doing the same with her half-empty mystery drink.

Thyla is acting very nervous and it’s strange that I don’t even know the names of these fruit juices but they must be-

“DON’T TAKE ANOTHER SIP!”

I nearly drop my glass to the table as Ray yells over the music while pointing at Tiltva. In what is likely pure terror, Tiltva shakily lowers her glass to the table and focuses on Ray. Ray pauses the music, grabs a trash can from under the kitchen island, and walks over to us at the table. He sets the bin beside Tiltva and goes back to the kitchen to start searching through what looks like a medicine cabinet. He slams the cabinet shut in frustration and walks back over to us empty handed. By now Thyla has slowly backed out of the dining room to the kitchen and is heavily shaking in the threshold, staring not at Ray, but at us.

Is she really that terrified of Venlil? Of us?

“Now Tiltva don’t be scared, but that drink is only meant for Thyla and myself and I’m guessing you didn’t pour yourself that glass, did you?”

“W-what is it? What’s going to happen to me?”

“That was cow’s milk, a non-sapient cattle species from Earth, and what’s going to happen to you is some stomach cramps and an intimate relationship with a toilet in a short while. Now before you say anything, a lot of humans drink it for the nutrients and Thyla can as well due to some unique genetics.”

Tiltva doesn’t seem to care about the Farsul girl’s special cattle-milk drinking ability as she immediately starts to retch over the trash can but unfortunately nothing comes up. Ray stands fuming beside Tiltva with a hand on her shoulder while Thyla continues to cower away from all of us.

I have to do something to break this tension. This is my fault for getting us here so early and barging in their house and waking them up.

Thinking quick and dumb, I grab Tiltva’s glass and finish the rest of the surprisingly tasty milk in a quick chug. I lower the glass to see the three of them staring at me like I had grown horns. Ray is the first to comment.

“Hey buddy? Why the Hell did you do that?”

“Yeah Halin, why did you do that?”

“If it just causes discomfort, then I don't want you to suffer alone.”

Tiltva strokes her tail across my back and shakes her head.

“Halin, you are an idiot through and through.”

Thyla tries to slink back into the dining room but not without unwillingly catching the attention of Ray who now whips around to face the kid.

“Did you think that this was going to be funny or something? Well think again, because when it comes time for these two to feel the effects, they’re going to be using your bathroom!”

“But I had to protec-”

“But nothing! There’s nothing to argue about. And you know what else? You can do those homework assignments that I was going to let slide today before our vacation.”

Ray then kneels down and brings the girl into his chest as he not-so-quietly whispers to her.

“Should’ve given you a heads-up they were here but you can’t treat innocent folks like that. You know I will always keep you safe. That said, if you need us to go over to the barn or you want to go see Miss Hilda or just back to your room or whatever, I’ll still make your breakfast and bring it to you. How’s that sound?”

A small, choked sob comes from the girl as she whispers something back to her dad. Whatever her choice is, Ray whispers a quick “Love you too” as he releases her and stands back up.

“Sit back at the table and I’ll finish up breakfast.” Ray now turns to us. “Sorry you two about… well, everything so far. This is a new one for me.”

Not sure if it comes from the absurdity of the situation or the chosen punishments, but I find myself laughing which flows to Tiltva and then the still nervous Thyla joins our giggle session. The only one not amused is Ray, who shakes his head in bewilderment.

“I know why Girly here might be laughing but you two? You’re not going to be laughing in an hour or so.”

He really can't see how Stars Damned silly this is?

“It’s just that this is incredibly weird. Like here we are at our human boss’ house, and then his Farsul daughter gives us cattle-milk and she is going to get punished by making us use her restroom.”

“Ah if the punishment ain’t enough I’ll gladly also take her pad away till we get back from our trip.”

“No no, the first punishments are fine, right Tiltva?” She flicks her ears in agreement to my side. “By the way, where are you going on your trip?

“Oh nowhere special. We’re just going to fly back home to Earth, but it’s Thyla’s first time coming along so she’ll get to meet all the family.”

Her first trip to Earth? That means she hasn’t…

“So she’ll be getting to see Mrs. Oakley then?”

Ray stiffens up a bit before answering. “That she will.”

Ray then heads back into the kitchen to resume cooking first meal leaving us with Thyla at the table, again. Thyla then goes into the kitchen and fills another pitcher but this time with water for us. She then sits across the table and pours herself a glass of the milk and then takes the stick Ray had brought in earlier and takes a bite out of it! 

Stars, are Farsul jaws and teeth actually that strong? I sort of thought that was a joke. That aside, try and make small talk.

“Sooooo Thyla. Your dad showed us the videos yesterday and we’re really upset about what happened to you. I want to apologize on behalf of all Venlil for that man’s actions. You shouldn’t be treated that way just for being Farsul.”

Her ears perk up again as she stops chewing her stick to stare at us. She mutters quickly under her breath.

“What would you know about how Venlil feel about me?”

“Well, we are-”

She butts in and cuts me off before I can defend myself.

“I’m-I’m sorry, thank you.”

Speh, it’s hard to stay mad at a cute kid. Even though she did poison us.

“It’s fine, but next time I don’t think I want any milk.”

We three burst into giggles again and I can see Ray shaking his head in the kitchen as he finishes up his cooking. He brings a stack of square strayu-like pastries over to the table and divvies one to each of our plates. He then brings back two glass bottles filled with brown liquids, a stick of a yellow-ish substance, and a brown plastic bottle to the table. Pointing at the two glass bottles, he explains their contents.

“I recommend both of you taking a bite of the waffle first without anything on it to get a good feel for it but after that, try it with the honey and then with the maple syrup.” Okay I’ve had honey before, pretty good. I’m guessing the ‘maple syrup’ is rather similar. Ray then points to the brown bottle. “This is chocolate syrup, safe for you version, which is a bit bitter but still very sweet, also give it a try.”

Tiltva points to the stick of something on the table. “What is that stuff? Another syrup? It looks pretty solid.”

“Ah, that one is for Thyla and me only. It’s also made from cow’s milk. It’s called butter and if your stomachs could handle it, you’d lather it on everything. Trust me.” 

Thyla nods to her dad’s words as she takes a small knife and spreads the butter across her waffle. She then takes the chocolate syrup and coats it all over her waffle before using a fork to chop it up and take a bite. Ray looks from her to us before giving a warning.

“Yeah don’t do that. Just try little bits of it at first before drowning it in syrup.”

With a shrug of my tail, I take the fork and cut off a piece of the pastry. A quick stab and I bring it up to my mouth and then… bliss. The true description of such a food is lost in my simple thoughts. The simpleton’s account is as follows: crisp, crunchy exterior followed by a warm, fluffy interior that seems to overwhelm the tasting breath with somehow nostalgic scents. And now to try the toppings, one by one till all three have been tried, aaaaand they’re pretty equal all things considered. Though, the honey probably still wins out.

As we go through our meal, Ray begins to speak to Tiltva and I.

“So, you two, we still have your employment to discuss.”

Tiltva and I freeze up a bit at his statement. Wait, now are we getting fired? Ray seems to notice our reactions, but he turns to Tiltva first.

“Ope, sorry. I meant your roles. Tiltva, if you haven’t guessed already, you’re going to learn how to sing those old Country songs, and then you’re going to perform them on stage with the band. Ah, don’t get nervous on me yet! I don’t expect you to be ready for a while, but I purchased some phonetic translators after I heard you sing, so there’s already a good set of songs to get started on.”

Ray then turns my way as Tiltva begins to nervously fidget in her seat.

“And Halin, while you unfortunately didn’t get much managerial experience, I’m going to have you take over managing the Honky Tonk and restaurant. I just can’t keep doing 4 jobs at the same time.”

I nearly choke on my bite of waffle at his statement. He notices my confusedness and chuckles a bit as he continues.

“Yes, 4 jobs. My original Earth job as an automotive design engineer. A job as a hovercar design engineer here on Skalga. Managing the Honky Tonk and restaurant. And being a performer in the band. And I guess being a Dad so, it’s really 5 jobs.”

“Oh, that explains the fancy hovercar. I was amazed that you had that many credits to spare!”

“It’s a beautiful car isn’t it? I’m pretty proud of it and damn excited they let me keep it for a miniscule buyout. Anyway, a few more things you should know while employed here. A few of the human staff also live on site in the second barn while Kam and his grandmother Brelkam live in the original farm house. We let them stay when we bought the land. Also, because this place is still ‘predatory’ to the media and political landscape, please don’t bother anyone famous or important you might recognize. They tend to like to pretend they don’t come here.”

Thyla’s ears pop up and she quickly swallows the food in her mouth as she starts nearly bouncing in her seat. Ray looks at her and a small sense of panic slowly flows across his face as Thyla starts to excitedly speak.

“Oh you mean like when Magistrate Kelyn was- mpmmphp!”

In a flash, Ray’s hand snaps over Thyla’s snout and closes her mouth but carefully leaving her nose exposed to not suffocate her.

Magistrate Kelyn was what?!

“Girly, please don’t.”

Thyla tries to mumble a bit more before appearing to calm down. Suddenly, she takes a sharp inhale through her nose and blasts it out again, covering her dad’s hand in snot. Ray jerks his hand back and looks down at it in a half-genuine, half-faux scream.

“Ahhhhhhhh!”

He jumps up to go wash his hand while Thyla uses the opportunity to continue her story.

“Magistrate Keyln came in and got suuuuper drunk and then tried kissing one of the human bartenders! And when Dad stepped in to pull her away, she started yelling about ‘I’m going to sue and shut you down’ but Dad still got her a taxi home! Then she called the next day and still threatened us if we ever told the news! And then Chief Exterminator Begelen-”

“Thyla! That’s enough.”

Thyla shrinks down in her seat, but not enough to stop her tail from wagging at her recount of the story. Tiltva and I shared a humorous glance before looking back at Ray whose expression clearly lays the law down, ‘No generating news stories or gossip’. Ray rejoins us at the table and gives a gentle, but condescending head pat to his daughter.

The rest of the meal goes by happily with just a bit more small talk but mostly eating more waffles. What few words that are said come from Thyla as she talks about how excited she is to experience her first Christmas.

Christmas does sound like a lot of fun. I wish we had more holidays of that length, but I guess we work a lot less than humans do.

Ray stops eating long before his daughter and us and he seems content to just listen along. After we all finish, Ray and Thyla quickly collect the glassware and utensils and do the dishes in only a moment's notice. Ray then turns to speak to all of us once more.

“Thyla kiddo, best get started on that homework so you won’t have to do any on the trip home. I’d prefer if you kept to the studio while you work to help Tiltva in case she needs any help with the equipment.”

Thyla then wraps her dad in a light hug before walking back down the halls of the house towards the ‘studio’. Satisfied that she’s out of earshot, Ray beckons us over and continues.

“Thank you two for being so… patient with her. She’s been through a lot and is a very tough kid, but these past few days have been Hell. Huge regression on the progress we’ve made but I think your attitudes here have really helped to bring her back.”

Tiltva answers for me in her ever wonderful voice. “I’m not happy about being tricked but I just can’t stay mad at her. She’s been very sweet and funny to listen to all of first meal. While I can say ‘your welcome', I’ll also say thank you for letting us have first meal like family. It means a lot.”

Ray then pulls us into a quick hug which Tiltva and I both happily reciprocate. Ray stands back up and is about to speak when a loud gurgle emanates from the lovely woman beside me. Tiltva’s ears and snout instantly turn bright orange as Ray purses his lips and shakes his head.

“I’m really not sure how well you two can smell so while I was serious about using Thyla’s bathroom, you can use the extractor fan if you want.”

Tiltva nods and flicks an ear before taking off down the hall to fight for her life. As I turn to comment to Ray about the still incredible absurdity of it all, my own stomach gives the first warning sign. No questions needed, Ray immediately understands what I need to know.

“The main level guest bathroom is down past the living room, meet me up in my office when you are feeling better.”

Stars protect me in my imminent battle of life and death.

[First] | [Prev]