November 29

10:45 am, Cardi with help from Hedia

My friend Hedia Mandel spent the night with us and we slept in.

All of our Jammy gigs yesterday were different but wonderful in their own ways. Yesterday early morning I got a text message from Hedia that she and her family were coming to our second gig. I told my parents and they said they would grab an Uber over since Papa still cannot drive.

All right. We immediately changed our early morning rehearsal. Heidi knew quite a few Hanukkah and other traditional Jewish songs that her ALDI band plays at weddings, bar/bat mitzvahs, and stuff. Melodically they are pretty easy to learn, almost all of them are in a minor key, similar chord progressions, etc. She pulled me aside, talked a little bit about woodwind parts in “klezmer” music, and played me some samples. Not too hard, I got it. The plan was she would start each song off on the piano and we were to join in.

The Mandels came in, and of course, looked very different from everyone else. They brought their own food and even their own microwave to heat it. Hedia and I hugged and kissed.

Jammy & Friends started off with our Come Dance With Me songs. We got about halfway through that set and then Heidi introduced the Mandels and said Jammy was going to do a few songs in their honor. We started with Those Were the Days, My Friend.

I could see how deeply Rabbi Mandel was moved. He started tearing up! At the end of the song he just walked up to the mic to thank us. Then he shared what had happened 2 weeks ago and how Papa had saved Hedia's life. “From this point on and forever we consider the Lopez family a part of the Mandel family. Hedia and Cardi from the standpoint of the Jewish principle of Pikuach nefesh are sisters and this completely overrides anything like religious labels or laws.”

“Would you mind playing that Those Were the Days song one more time? You may or may not know that the original was a Russian song. The English version was composed by Eugene Raskin and his wife Francesca. They met in 1934, I believe, while on a cruise. He was 27 and she was 16 at the time. They eloped a year later. Are there any young women here who are 16? [A bunch of us raised our hands] Don’t get any ideas! They were discovered by Paul McCartney who heard them sing the song at a club but he chose Mary Hopkin to record it at the Apple Studio. It has been translated into many languages. May I sing it in Yiddish? It is called Geven a Tzayt.”

By now, no one was eating and everyone was listening. I thought the owners would be upset but they were listening with everyone else! Rabbi Mandel is obviously classically trained and used to performing. We did the rest of Heidi's Jewish song repertory and no one even considered taking the mic back.

I invited Hedia to spend the night with us and all of our parents agreed. The Mandels packed up all of the leftover food they had bought with him. She met and became friends with all of the Jammy girls. Robert was his typical charming self and boy, did he play sweetly.

Back home, she heard us do Gongyo. Hedia and I were up most of the night just talking about our lives. She told me a lot about the “Haredi” Jews. I told her about our story back in Nicaragua, our escape to the United States, our fears about being undocumented, and how grateful we are for a father introducing us to this lawyer.

I told her that Robert and I are much like Francesca and Eugene Raskin. We are not going to elope, of course. But we plan on getting married as soon as I turn 17 and he finishes a good part of his army training.

“That is excellent!” she said.

“What???”

Hedia explained that marriages in her community are usually arranged by parents but sometimes by a matchmaker called a “shadchan.” Hedia pretty much knows who her parents have chosen. He is kind, devout, has beautiful eyes, and is a very hard worker. When she asked her the “Is it him?” question, she just kind of winked. She wants to have her first date, it's called a "shidduch" next year, when she is a senior in high school. She hopes to get engaged then. She wants to get married in the autumn after graduation.

I did not expect what was coming next. “I've already asked my father and he approves and wants me to ask you. Would you consider being one of my two “shushbinin”--”good friend,” kind of loosely like a bridesmaid plus "honor guard" for the wedding?

“What?!?! Of cause!”

“And if you are married by then, I want to ask Robert to be my other one!” from what I gather, this is a huge decision because the role is usually played by the parents of the bride.

“But wouldn't we have to be Jewish?”

“You don't get it yet,” she said. “Because of what happened, the entire community considers you “ "Righteous Among the Nations" kind of like an honorary Jew!”

“Would Robert have to get himself circumcised?”

“What, what would make you think that?” she asked.

“Well, because he already is, kind of a tradition even among non-Muslim men from West Africa.”

“How do you know that?” she wanted to know. I told her about our visit to Planned Parenthood. She laughed hysterically. Like real sisters, and like me and Mama, there are no more secrets between us.

For the rest of the night we held hands, giggled, and talked about 😉😜🥰. No secrets.

We will simply be hanging out together for until lunch. This afternoon we take the subway and we will be joining her family in Brooklyn where her family has an apartment. I will observe my first “Shabbos” (Sabbath).

Why do I feel I have known Hedia forever?