Its been well over a year since we split up and Im still insanely in love with her

I (25M) and my ex (23F) Split up just over a year and a few months ago, She’s not my first relationship but as of now she is the last and easily the most loving and perfect one I have been in and based off our time together perhaps hers too. We went from friends in lockdown to best friends and eventually I confessed my feelings to her. Over our time together we rarely ever fought if any and almost never had disagreements, if we did they were very minor and not relationships rocking.

Long story short I was convinced shes the one, I loved and love everything about her, I wanted her to be my wife and was in the works of putting us in that position.

Without going into too much detail life got in the way outside of our control and as hard as we tried, we could not make it work. We ended things on very good terms, still in love and tears were shed.

I am usually a guy that can suck it up and eventually move on and over the year i tried my best to. Everything from new hobbies to meeting new people but in the end i find myself here. I tried to hate her, I tried to convince myself im over her but at the end of the day everyday i lay in bed thinking about her. Some nights i even dream of her, and i hate it because i cant have her and i miss her.

The reason for this post is i dunno why but for some reason i feel it really bad today. even this week, I dreamt of her just before this post and it broke me finally. For the first time since we ended i cried about her again.

Im not sure what i want to gain posting this, nor do i expect anyone to have a remedy, I just wish she left me emotionally.