What if: everyone are slime-mould zombies?

Theory

• The "sap" of the Erdtree, is a mind-controlling slime mould that parasitises its host. 
• Before the Age of the Erdtree the Golden Order was a brainwashed horde of vomit-zombies, infecting everything in The Lands Between. 

Grace being \"bestowed\".

• The zombies one, which is why The Lands Between is so sparsely populated.
• The Tarnished were sleeper agents sent out to infect the rest of the world. 

NOTE: If you aren't familiar with slime mould, I'd recommend searching for Ze Frank's video "True Facts: The Self-Sacrificing Amoeba" and the video "73. Development of Cellular Slime Molds".

Reasoning

The heavily (and inaccurately) simplified the life-cycle of cellular slime mould follows the following life-stages:  

1. Amoeba - freely moving cells that feeds and multiplies in food-rich location; 
2. Aggregation - the cells aggregate into a single mass once all the food has been consumed; 
3. Slug - the mass forms a “slug” to move to a suitable location for the next stage; 
4. Fruiting Body - the “slug” transforming into a “fruiting body”, with some of the cells forming the trunk and the rest becoming spores; and 
5. Dispersal - the spores dispersing and the “fruiting body” dying.  

Sap=Amoeba, Aggregation=Grafting, Slug=Serpent, Fruiting Body=Erdtree, Spores=Tarnished

If Marika is a Shaman, then the Shaman lifecycle appears to follow roughly the same life-cycle.

The Shaman life-stages are: 

1. **Sap** \- infectious, shape-shifting clones (the Amoeba stage of slime mould); 
2. **Grafting** – the biomass of the infected grafting/melding/pooling/being-devoured together into a single mass (the Aggregation stage); 
3. **Serpent** – the mass transforming into a giant serpent (the Slug stage); 
4. **Tree** – the serpent coiling into a tree (the Fruiting Body stage); 
5. **Seeds/Tarnished** – the tree dispersing its seeds to infect other locations, then dying (Dispersal) 

Shaman and related organisms

Sap: This but smaller, golden and makes you high

The Aggregation of hundreds of thousands of amoeba.

A familiar pattern.

Crucible.

Slug/\"Serpent\"

\"Trees\"

Life forms related to the Shaman (e.g., the demigods and the Nox) also follows roughly the same life-stages. 

Future parts of this theory (if I ever get around to it) will be a more detailed examination of the evidence for each of the life-stages of the beings listed in the table.  

Implications that may be explored

1. Shoving caterpillars in your face prevents infection. 
2. Having "fire within" prevents infection. 
3. The trolls betrayed the fire-giants by teaching the infected to resist fire. 
4. The fire giants successfully burnt the Erdtree and almost succeeded in saving the world. 
5. The fire giants sacrificed themselves like small furry creatures on burning sticks. 
6. Nox that venture to the surface get turned into sheep. 
7. Ranni’s age of stars means that the rest of the world will be eaten by silver vomit zombies.  

OTHER THEORIES:

What if: Torrent was a cucumber?

https://www.reddit.com/r/EldenRingLoreTalk/comments/1fb3q4m/what_if_torrent_was_a_cucumber/

What if: Godfrey was Japanese?

https://www.reddit.com/r/EldenRingLoreTalk/comments/1ew0jvm/what_if_godfrey_was_japanese/

The Crucible is a Spirit-spring and people keep building on them.

https://www.reddit.com/r/EldenRingLoreTalk/comments/1evy9xm/people_keep_building_holy_sites_on_spiritspings/

ASOIAF THEORY:

Abominations: Of souls, ice, fire and blood.

https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiaf/comments/z9kyg0/spoiler_main_abominations_of_souls_ice_fire_and/