AITA for ransacking my boyfriend’s apartment?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Dontstealmypassport

AITA for ransacking my boyfriend’s apartment?

Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole

Original Post - rareddit Apr 10, 2022

I (f25) have been with my boyfriend “Jake” (m34) for 8 months. Things were fine until I (against my better judgment) moved into his place a couple months ago. Since then, he’s been getting kind of possessive and protective. I immediately told him to cut that shit out because it’s off-putting, and things seemed to get better.

Anyway, I have a friend in Mexico who is getting married. I’ve been excited to fly down for her wedding since she told me she was engaged a year ago. However, Jake has made it clear that he doesn’t want me to go. He says Mexico is too dangerous, even though I’ve been there many times and even lived there for a year, speak Spanish, have friends there, and know my way around. No matter what I say, he doesn’t want me to go.

Then a couple of days ago my passport went missing from my nightstand. I’m supposed to go tomorrow, so I wouldn’t have time to get a new one. I looked everywhere, no luck. When I asked Jake about it, he behaved a little suspiciously, but I dismissed it because I couldn’t believe he would actually take my passport to keep me from going.

But he’s been giving me some red flags, so I decided to have a thorough look around. When he went out this morning, I started going through everything. As I searched, I became increasingly certain that he took my passport. I started off carefully picking through drawers and cabinets, but as my anger grew, I became a lot less careful. I started turning out drawers, pried open a brief case, made a total mess. But I found it. It was behind some books on the bookcase in his study. I never go into his study. He definitely put it there.

Now he’s furious with me for going through his things and ransacking his place. He said he would have given my passport back, and there was no need for me to “go crazy.”I’m just angry that he took it to begin with, and I don’t believe him when he says he was going to give it back.

This is only my third serious relationship, and I have no perspective on this kind of thing. AITA for “overreacting” and ransacking my (ex)boyfriend’s place?

Edit: thanks for the replies. I guess I was still in a weird state of disbelief that he did that and it made me question everything. Now that I’ve stopped shaking and have had the time to think, talk to my mom, and to read through these replies, I feel kinda silly for even wondering if I did something wrong. Suffice it to say it’s over for good, I’ve blocked him on everything and my dad and brother are over there getting what’s left of my stuff. I’m going to try to put it out of my mind and focus on my awesome trip.

VERDICT: REMOVED BEFORE VERDICT RENDERED

RELEVANT COMMENTS

Capable_Voice_5479

NTA.move out immediately and don’t look back. This is the start of an abusive relationship he is starting lightly with the controlling so that you get used to it. That you even question that you are an AH for looking for YOUR passport that HE STOLE means that he is already succeeding. For your future safety run. You are not in so deep that you can’t get out.

OOP

Thank you. Im at my parents’ house now and my dad told me the exact same thing. It’s good to hear it from other people.

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