[1118] Dawn

Hi all! This is the prologue to my newest sci-fi novel. Feel free to tear it apart. How engaging is it? What does it need more/less of (description, dialogue, character-building, context/background, etc.)? Thanks :)

Work: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NO5lE7y5gZ_vyRqLFcG7j4mdQ8DJ-GdbhtFAxG38lfM/edit?usp=sharing

Critique [1747]: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1hmun3k/comment/m40u0qd/?context=3