AIO New Year's Kiss

So, me and my new ex were laying in my bed (I know this is starting off wonderfully, ain't it?) And I had just got done frying him some chicken and making him pb+j's because he's high and we were watching the ball drop on the TV. We were doing a lot. I was getting him a cooling mask because he likes how it feels and giving him eye drops when he said his eyes were getting dry. I like acting like a housewife. We broke up a month or two ago but it's been hard for me to move past it since we live with him.

Well, when time came for the ball drop, he got up and really didn't seem interested. I asked him if I could have a kiss and he said he didn't really want to and laid back down.

That instantly made me wanna cry. I do so much for him all the time and we have been kissing and pretty much acting like a couple since the break up (which has also made it hard) but when I told him it was hard on me, then he turned it around and started acting like a dick like he wants to spend NO time with me and that I'm ugly and he doesn't want me. He certainly has a lot of narcissistic and abusive traits, I'm aware but was willing to stick through it.

But it just hurt me that he was my only choice of who to spend tonight with and I didn't get a kiss. I haven't ever gotten a kiss on New Years eve and it would've meant a lot to me and now I just feel heart broken all over again.

And so after I sent the happy new years messages to everyone, I unplugged my computer and everything and told him goodnight. He seemed startled and asked if I was upset with him and I told him no. He asked where I'd be sleeping and I told him in my bed but I think his birds miss him and he should sleep in his room tonight. He was very upset by this. Not mad but saddened that he thought he hurt me. So he gave me a hug and apologized but I still gave him his stuff back and walked away back to my room to lock the door leaving him in the hallway. I know he's crushed right now, but like... It just hurt. I don't know why it did, but it did. Maybe I am overreacting. I just didn't want to be near him at that moment cause I knew I'd cry if I did and he's already made me cry earlier this week.

I had a really bad migraine which usually turns into seizures and I was nauseous and just wanted him to come relax with me because I was emotional about it. I never cry about pain but I absolutely cried over this one because it woke me up from the dead of sleep. But he was a jerk and was yelling at me and being rude and oulling my hair so I laid to bed and cried myself to sleep holding a pillow in my arms and rubbing it to try and distract myself from being nauseous.

What are yall's thoughts?