WIBTAH If I sold my Ex's stuff after leaving me in a tough financial situation?

Hi Charlotte! Big fan here and Happy New Year!

If this finds it's way into a video, could you keep me anonymous please?

So, some backstory as to this question. It's probably going to be long, I apologize for that.

I (31F) went through a breakup recently with my (25M), let's call him Nate. Nate and I met on 2022 on TikTok, believe it or not. Back then I had decided to get a divorce from my 6 year long husband at the time. The reason as to that is because I didn't feel supported in any way and I was tired of that feeling. Yes I had talked to him about it, yes I recommended therapy and yes, fought to make it work.

It didn't.

Back to Nate and I. We started to talk and make video duets together now and then. We have quite a few things in common. We both love video games, anime, and wanted to start streaming (this is important for later.) He confessed his feelings to me a few months after, while I was weary and still recovering. I told him this as well as to why, he understood and waited for me to confess. Which I did quite a few months later. He was going to be graduating from his college soon, but didn't have a place to stay. I was living with a family member of mine (aunt) and she said that she would move to the different unit of the building, so he could come and live with me in the 3 room 1 bathroomhousing unit. So long as we payed rent and utilities as well as maintain the property.

All fair in my opinion!

After he graduated in 2023, he moved in and we started to live together, working our jobs and being happy. That same year, we also had a friend move in to the second bedroom. I had also purchased a used car!

We had friends coming over, having fun, making videos, sharing and going to meet friends some hours away! I didn't realize it, but I was the one basically using most of my money for these.

It should have been good, should have been easy and manageable. Low and behold, problems started to arise.

Our roommate would not contribute in the house unless asked or told to do something by me, money got super tight as well from not so smart spending on their part. My food stamps were taken away (supposedly I was making more than enough money, which is bullshit.) Rent started to be late, and Nate had suggested we applied for Hello Fresh.

I was on board, it seemed like a good idea. But the money spending was getting worse and worse. I was in charge of paying the power, gas and internet bill. I'd ask them for help, but they would always short. Then the car started to break down to the point it wouldn't start.To make the situation more annoying and painful, our roommate moved back to his mom's place winter of that same year, leaving both Nate and I in a difficult financial strain and situation.

We had to sell the car for not even half of what I purchased it for ($2300) to be able to buy heating oil for the house. That stuff ain't cheap! But we still worked through it and managed to get on top of things.

That is...until recently.

It's 2024, close to summer and Nate asked me if I would consider an open relationship.

Before you judge, we had mentioned having a three way to scratch it off the bucket list. Not the same, but similar.

I was a bit surprised but didn't judge him. I myself was curious as to what it would be like to have a female partner. I told him I needed to think about it. Looking back at it now, I should have said straight up no, and at the same time feel that the outcome would have been the same.

After a while I said yes, but I had conditions.

1. We both have to know this person.
2. She has to be clean. No STD or STI or worse.
3. We spend time with her individually.
4. We have time for us. As in him and I.

Seems reasonable right?

I had asked jokingly about what if I wanted a male partner? He straight up said no. No male is to be with you like that.

I was so stupid.

Turns out he had someone in mind. We both knew her and she is a sweet and smart girl. The problem? She lived states away.

So, they would be on FaceTime a lot and I would call or text her now and then. I loved her passion and personality, but I wasn't in love with her.

On June, my now ex-boyfriend's birth month, he decided to go on a vacation for a week back to his home state, and to see her and meet her in person as well. A gift for himself. I wasn't able to go due to, again, the financial strain I had. Everytime I tried to save up, something happened.

I was a bit hurt but happy for him. It wasn't until he left that I got this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and in my heart.

I told myself it was all in my head and that I was paranoid. He called me two days later and said one of the most dreaded words in any relationship.

Nate: "When I come back, we need to talk."

My blood froze, my heart dropped and my mind went to the worst scenario.

Again, I told myself I was being paranoid and needed to calm down.

When he came back, I went to greet him. He didn't didn't greet me back. No hug, no kiss, no smile. Nothing. What he did was we sat down and he proceeded to show me pictures of him with her. I saw how happy he looked and at peace. He calls our former roommate for "support" and proceeds to tell me how happy he was there, how he had missed home, and proceeded to tell me we should "take a break."

What he meant to say was he's breaking up with me/dumping me.

My world crashed. Tears started to fall. I shout "How can you do this to me? Why are you doing this to me!?"

I don't remember much of that night. All I remember is that he was sorry he hurt me, it was never his intention and that I was still an important person in his life. He had also basically begged me to not tell our friends, and I like a fool complied.

He then moved to the guest bedroom.

So there I was, heartbroken and no one to talk to until almost a month later. I went through the stages of grief alone, hiding the pain and sorrow.

He also said he was buying me a ticket for a one week vacation for my birthday to see my family. While awesome, it didn't remove the hurt.

After 2 months, I was over him and everything. The breakup led to me finding my backbone and no bullshit attitude. He went back to see her on October, and to also find a job there.

During his second visit, my mind decided to remind me of what we had talked about. We talked about baby names, and then he tells me he doesn't want kids. He wants to travel and not be tied down. This coming from the man that had told me he wanted kids. He told me that I had traveled and he wants that. I was able to do that because my dad was military and was stationed overseas. The traveling I did was because of that, and some with my ex in-laws.

Tell me why, barely a day after he's back from his second trip, he has a job basically lined up, a place to live and a car when he gets there? There I was, putting myself back together, fighting to keep rising, and his life is basically already set?

It wasn't fair. It didn't feel fair.

Because of that, he spent about $300 on a plane ticket for his luggage, and he was moving the first week of December. I was floored. He had yet to pay his half of the rent for the month, and here he was, spending that money without a care in the world. I pointed out the fact we still has to pay rent and all he did was apologize and say he didn't think it through. He didn't even have the cash he said he would use for my vacation either.

My dad gifted me the money and I bought the ticket.

I told him I was going to need help in paying for the power and gas, he said he would help.

I went on the vacation and relaxed for the first time in a while. I had fun, surprised my family and was happy. I told my parents part of what happened, as in he had broken up with me and was moving away. Not the whole story.

Call me a coward but I couldn't tell them that. I did tell my sibling, and they supported me and kept quiet about it. Turns out my parents had a suspicion about it. Going to another state for vacation and seeing your family, but leaving the girlfriend behind is apparently the biggest SUS flag.

I came back and he did not have his half of the rent. I had to pay the full rent and the utilities, leaving me with barely enough money to last until my next paycheck.

The day came for him to leave. He gives me a hug, thanking me for everything and leaves.

I thought I'd be dancing in joy and happy. Instead I was numb. I felt no happiness or sadness or anger. All I felt was nothing.

My aunt, the family member that owns the housing unit and let me rent it, tells me that a cousin needs help and a place to stay and offered the guest bedroom of the housing I was in. I was floored.

Yes I need the help for bills and some stability, but at the same time I thought I would have a few days if not a week to get accustomed to the fact I was alone like that. To be able to have some me time. My aunt apologized, stating she knows and understands, but it was a last minute decision, otherwise my cousin would have been homeless. I had no choice but to agree, and she immediately started to move things around.

A friend (33M) came over to visit me and to make sure I was okay. He even offered to help me deep clean!

So, my aunt moved the office basically and turned it into my cousin's new room. I hasn't seen her in years, but when I did, we clicked. Like no time had passed.

Things have been looking up slowly for me. I have the support of my family and the friends that matter, and have applied to a better paying job. But I'm still financially struggling.

Remember when I said we both wanted to stream? He basically spent over $1000 to have the unoccupied room be made into a gaming office. He couldn't take everything so he put it all away to come and pick up next year.

He left his PC here, monitor, gaming consoles, some anime figures, clothes and cosplay materials.

My aunt is telling me to sell them. He left in the way he did and she's looking out for me. Part of me wants to say screw it and sell everything. He left me in a bad spot and this would be the logical thing to do. But the other part of me doesn't want to do it. While he did hurt me and basically used me, I don't think I'm able to sell them.

So, I've come to reddit for some outside advice and opinions.

WIBTAH if I sold his belongings?