Struggling with juggling the perception of my program vs the reality

I was recruited into a program to work with a "legendary" professor. Who, within weeks, started hazing me. As a first-gen kid, college dropout, associate degree-wielding, 2.8 GPA havin' punk, I said, sure, why not? I love the learning process; my master's was a wonderful experience, and I needed to remain where I lived.

I was beyond flattered to be asked and struggled with imposter syndrome off the bat. I didn't have a formal background in the field, so I was lost in the sea of theory. Other students relentlessly bullied me because of how I got into the program and my work outside of school. I also rubbed many of the faculty the wrong way because I've been vocal about the violence in our department. I have actively separated myself from our building and requested support to conclude my scholarship. Naturally, they hate this.

When I tell people what I do, they sometimes become buoyant with enthusiasm, and it breaks my heart. My PhD experience has been the most traumatizing experience of my life, and I say this as someone who endured all forms of childhood abuse, addiction, domestic violence, etc. I have worked since I was 15, so I have experience in academia (as admin), health care, public ed, nonprofits, and the hospitality sector. I've run the gamut. I've never seen people treat each other as they do in academia. I've never seen such intentional bullying, backstabbing, and dehumanization.

The other day, I met this really sweet young person who wants to apply to my program and was talking about how amazing it is and how all the faculty seem mean but like "the good kind of mean." And I was just like, "Haha, yeah, haha..." I told her to search for the people she feels she can nurture reciprocity with and always honor the importance of her work.

Does anyone have experience with something like this? Also, I would welcome ways or perspectives around healing academic trauma. I'm getting the fuck out of higher education once I graduate. Still, I will continue working on my research in public education because I love what I study, as it's a part of my life commitments that far exceed academia. Thank you, thank you.