[522] Ephemeral

Hey! I'm considering turning this piece into a short story and wanted your feedback on it. I mostly want to understand what feelings (if any) were evoked when you read it. English is not my first language, any feedback is welcomed :)

Here is the critique:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1i5azos/1045_omens/

Here is the piece:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oeeFFRsB6M5FD5-eAEuEr_4-yBc5vgyzeDUI0crQwpc/edit?tab=t.0