r/roommates•
OliverDrip

I think my roommates don't like me now

Discussion

Hey y'all, this might be a mixture of venting

I live in a 5 multigender college dorm, we have our own room and bathrooms. 3 of them know eachother beforehand (two of them are in a relationship so I'm living with a couple, straight), and the other keeps to herself but me and her use to talk exclusively. This is my first time living with roommates and at first it was great but now it's just a nightmare.

We all started as good friends but then some stupid friend drama occurred outside that I got roped into that lasted a month and ruined my friendship with the roommate (Let's call her Tammy) I use to talk to exclusively (her friend got jealous that I was hanging out with her and she was given an ultimatum between me and her and she chose her). I put firm boundaries with her but we agreed to try and rekindle the friendship during the breaks when it was just me and her. At first, it was going well as we ate, watched movies together and did grocery shopping together, but when our roommates and her friend started coming back it's as if we stopped talking completely; the only time she needed something was when she needed a lift. Today, she removed me from all social media without haste after I asked to use MY hairdryer that I let her borrow. She didn't even text or say happy birthday to me just a couple days ago after I got her a cake and took her out for hers last semester; I just feel used by her.

The same is kind of said for another roommate, the girlfriend of the couple (Let's call her Anna). Me and her were also good friends at the start of the semester, but her relationship at the start was a bit rocky with the bf and I guess that's why she was hanging out with me alot at the beginning, which did make the bf a bit upset and jealous and TBH looking back I think that was her goal. When the friendship issue occured with Tammy, I started self-isolating and Anna did try to reach out a couple times but I blew, until we were back on speaking, but then the boyfriend pulled me aside and told me that he didn't want me hanging around her anymore because it made him uncomfortable and didn't trust me. I spoke with her privately about this and she didn't feel uncomfortable around me but didn't want to do anything because she felt he was just being protective, even though we're roommates. This caused a further rift as I started feeling more and more uncomfortable with her as it felt like she just used me to make her bf jealous.

The only times we hanged out as of recently now was only when they needed something: Tammy whenever she needed a lift with her friend or Anna whenever she needed someone to help carry her stuff or a lift as well.

Now we're here today at the start of this semester. My time schedule is radically different from the others as my classes are all in the afternoon while theirs is throughout the day. Tammy and I haven't spoken since the start and now Anna is giving me the cold shoulder for some reason. I think it's because I was gone for two days due to work but she started treating me differently when I came back. It's getting to a point where I can't even walk to my room with them being there because I always feel as though they're judging me and glancing while I walk by; I have to sneak back into my dorm when everyone is asleep. I don't know what I did wrong. I clean the dorm, wash the dishes everyday, take the trash out and still I'm given this reception. I don't know what do do.

I want to transfer dorms but we live in the best wing on Campus so I'm in a dilemma of whether I sacrifice my living space just to be away from them but potentially gamble on getting worse roommates and downgrading, or stick it out for the rest of the semester and continue doing what I'm doing now.

Sorry for the long post, it's just eating me up inside.

Posted Jan 22, 2025, 2:59 AM UTC

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