Loneliness is affecting my brain chemistry, don’t know how to recover

Honestly loneliness is affecting my chemistry, I don’t think I function as before, less so normally. I don’t know how to fix this. I was born autistic I didn’t sign up for this. Feels like maybe a part in me is rotten and everyone can smell it, but I can. Everyone knows when there’s an alien among their midsts.

Just venting don’t expect anything to change until the day I get off this ride, or someone gets me off. Everyday I feel numb, and I only wish either this got fixed, or I just became absolutely numb. I don’t want this in between.