[1228] The Carrion Gospels - Chapter 1: Baptism of Entropy

This is the first chapter in a book I’m writing. Would be grateful for any critiques.

Synopsis of First Chapter: Amidst the festering corpse of New Veles, Kael and Veyra carve through irradiated wastes and Architect-spawned nightmares, their frayed humanity crumbling like the city’s calcified bones as cryptic symbols and squirming walls whisper of elder atrocities. When Kael surrenders to an alien relic’s liquid embrace, his metamorphosis cracks the world open—unleashing a primordial hunger that dissolves flesh, loyalties, and reason, leaving only the Architects’ deranged hymn of evolution screaming across the dunes.

Story link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-Bz-Bh9f0eJnopU_LBMmvq-UEp5bTspaR_re1XyHnMI/edit

Critiques:

[1313] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/s/UfyDlZSzKf

[1451] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/s/RmYCY4iaa9