TW

My body image was already really suffering, I'm so uncomfortable in my body and I feel so out of control even though my doctor is so happy with my weight right now. Then I made things worse and I hurt someone I really love and now my arms are covered in bruises and my legs in scabs and my stomach will be empty for the foreseeable future. The amount of loathing I feel towards myself is so intense. I have no one to blame but me and I have to isolate now because I can't let the terrible human I am bring down anyone else while I self destruct. I already know it's a lie, but my brain thinks maybe it'll be quick this time. Maybe it'll take me out faster and make me stop hurting the people I care about sooner. Maybe it will all end without me having to make it so