For those with already shaky mental health, how do you cope?

Before the election I was already strugglung mentally. I am neurodivergent and have been struggling to succeed in a world meant for the neurotypical people.

My suicidal ideation has only gotten worse.

I had some hope before, hope that if kamala won that there would be help for people like me. That people that are different would be appreciated. That I could have accomodations and live in a place with a healthy social net and support. that I would have a future.

But that future has dissapeared. My boyfriend is in the same boat, though likely worse and it's very difficult for him to find the energy to fight just to continue daily life. He already fled a country once and he does not want to flee again.

I don't know what to do. I have always thought if things got so bad that I have to flee the country, then I have already lost. I don't have the mental energy to survive in place or to start over somewhere else.

It's extremely sad but I want to die alongside my boyfriend now, before they come after us, so that we may die on our own terms. I wanted a future with him so badly, a simple future with jobs we found meaning in, a small home we could make our own, and a cat. But none of that seems possible now.

I have done some prepping. Got documents ready. Have some backup food and a small getaway bag, but it all seems so useless when I don't have the energy to use these things when the time comes.

Anyone else in a similar position? Do you still try? Do you still see a future for yourself? Where do you find the energy to fight or flee? How do you cope?