Epic Zombie Killer

John lays prone on the grassy hill next to Nick. His binoculares follow the nearby horde as they shamble across the field. “They’re heading away”He whispers to his partner, getting a swift nod in response. Nick is following the horde as well, though through his sniper rifle rather than binoculares. 

John snorts,seeing two shambling teens in the horde. He gestures towards the one wearing an “Epic Zombie Killer”t-shirt. “What’s the story there?” Nick studies the zombie, snorting at the broken handle of a katana clutched in the creature's fist as he thinks before he starts talking.

Baxter swings his bat in a lazy circle as he and his best friend, Cody, crouch behind a car. “I don’t know…” Cody whines. “There’s a lot of zombies here….like...a lot! I don’t think it’s worth the risk” Baxter shakes his head. “No, it’s EPIC. It’s Mitsurugi’s Master sword. It’ll slice through all these bastards with no effort.”

Cody frowns, peeking over the car to look at the mindlessly shambling zombies. “I...I’m not going. I’m scared. There’s too many. We could get bitten!” Baxter snorts, straightening his Epic Zombie Killer shirt as he looks at his friend. “Dude, just sneak over to the wall and start the timer. That will give you time to get away and then distract them. I’ll be able to sneak into the mall and the katana. It’s foolproof. I promise”

Cody hesitantly nods, pointing to an RV. They’d scouted it out and found the keys to it on the ground. He does wish they’d actually gone inside the RV, instead of just banging on the door but they didn’t hear anything. It has to be safer than out here. “I'll be in there” He lifts the keys with a goofy grin as he tries to pretend he’s not terrified. 

Baxter nods, smiling at his friend as he watches him sneak away to set the timer. It’s not overly loud, just an egg timer, but once it draws even a single zombie...Well, they all follow the leader. 

Baxter waits until the groaning, shambling horde has moved away and he sees Cody give him a thumbs up from inside the RV. It’s only then that he starts sneaking into the mall. Luckily, the glass doors leading inside are already broken. It’s easy to get inside. Baxter has the quickest route the comic shop memorized. He spent years lusting over the katana and wishing he could afford it. 

Now, it’s free! All he has to do is take it. The zombies are easily avoided. Baxter sticks to the shadows and throws balls to make them turn away. Getting in a fight here would be a disaster and he’d be bit for sure. 

It takes time, longer than Baxter would like but he makes it safely to the comic shop. He smiles, a vicious smile on his face as he sees the zombified owner of the store. His back is to Baxter, allowing the boy to sneak up and hit him from behind. “This is for kicking me out everytime I tried to read comics here!” He hits the man again. “This is for not taking my offer on the katana!” The zombie staggers, moaning as he starts to turn around. “This is for all the times you told me this is a store and I couldn’t get a discount or things for free!” Baxter keeps hitting the zombie until his pent up rage is gone and the zombie's head is pulp on the floor. 

Smirking, Baxter drops the bat and hops over the counter. He grabs the katana and swings it a few times. It feels perfect, like it was molded for his hand and he can feel Mitsurugi’s power flowing through him. “Yes….” He breathes, the sensation of finally holding Mitsurugi’s The Master almost orgasmic. 

Baxter looks at the darkening sky and mutters a curse. Cody will be freaking out, he’s been gone for hours. He hurries to the back of the store, holding the precious katana at the ready as he pushes open the fire escape. 

“Fuuuuck” Baxter mutters as a loud squealing siren shrieks through the air. The zombies turn towards him as he breaks into a run. Not even Mitsurugi could fight this many and Baxter may have Mitsurugi’s might and sword but he doesn’t have armor. He has to run. 

Baxter sees Cody’s worried face as the RV starts up and begins to back towards him. Good, Cody isn’t a complete coward! Baxter dodges and weaves to avoid the zombies, swinging the sword at their heads. 

He gasps, staring at the shattered hilt of the sword. One hit...one hit and the zombie isn’t even dead! The sword is gone, shattered! That bastard comic shop owner must have gotten a knock off katana! This isn’t Mitsurugi’s The Master. This is a piece of shit! Baxter’s jumbled thoughts are interrupted by a searing pain in his shoulder as a zombie sinks their teeth into his flesh. He screams, reaching out for Cody as the RV speeds off into the night. Abandoned….Abandoned by his best friend...Abandoned by Mitsurugi….

Baxter gurgles as more zombies descend upon him.

John laughs softly at the story, still watching the shambling form of the overweight zombie as he disappears into the horde. “Wonder if he’s still chasing Cody and that RV”