Advice… should I pursue a married man who is going to divorce.

I’m 45f been with my long term partner 47m since I was 16 years old. Our kids are now 22 & 19. If I am being honest with myself I haven’t felt loved or appreciated for years, my partner is rather selfish and puts football and drinking before my happiness, the only time we spend quality time together is a few weeks on holiday each year. As soon as we get home, we soon slip into the old habit of ignoring eachother. I have never left him as financially I’m not sure I can cope on my own. London rents are very expensive. Plus maybe I am co-dependable because I have been with him for over half of my life. I have tried to tell him that I am unhappy but he often says nothing in return. I think he knows that he has a problem with alcohol but refuses to acknowledge it.

An ex-colleague told me 6 months ago that his marriage was in trouble, his wife wanted a divorce. They were also together since school. In December we met up at a work event and talked through all our relationships problems and the night ended with a kiss. He claims he has never cheated before.

We have since spoken loads over the phone, but we avoided talking about the ‘kiss’. I remember how much we got on together at work, I was always attracted to his personality and presence. I can’t seem to get him out of my mind…

I have decided to leave my partner but I don’t know how long it will take to find somewhere else to stay.

Should I pursue my ex-colleague in the hope that someday something will develop between us or stay clear and keep focused on me?