i like my friends in school, but if you ask me on a deeper level...

I don't know why I can't connect to them at all. Maybe it's me being unable to take a goddamn joke but everytime they joke it's always either insulting each other or me and I don't get what's so funny about it. I feel like I'm being gaslit because I'm supposed to laugh with them but I feel hurt for some reason??? like it's not that deep bro ??? why can't i just take it????

And sometimes they don't even include me in the conversation so I don't know what's going on, but when they do I don't know how to interact with them at all so I just smile and nod at their antics, which leads to them not including me in the convo more,,,, and then I feel even lonelier even though they're my friends and I should be talking to them but I don't know how to. And when I do talk to them apparently I'm so quiet that they have to ask me to repeat myself multiple times so like. is it even worth it atp 💀💀💀

Even when I do something funny that tries to be on par with their jokes/insults they just stare at me weirdly or judge me behind my back (jokingly).

I feel like this is my fault, because the whole thing kinda circles back to me not being able to take a joke or having zero sense of humor and then beating myself up about it and not replying them with more jokes or something which in turn leads to them thinking that I'm ignoring them. And they're actually really funny people ngl it's just me 😭😭😭

like. what do i do bruhhhh I'm so cooked if I don't maintain this friendship because they're literally my only friends in class but then if I do I'm stuck between liking them and hating them at the same time wtfffff 😀😀 do i confront them?? do i just continue with this or smth pls help