Does anyone else feel this way about ADHD meds?

I know this is kind of petty in the grand scheme of things. I live in the U.S., I have access to healthcare and medication, and I know that makes me lucky compared to a lot of people. But I can’t shake this weird grief I feel about my ADHD meds.

They help me so much—like, it’s undeniable. But I hate that they do. I don’t want to rely on them. I always try to get by without them for as long as I can, but everything slowly unravels, and I have to come back to them. Not because I’m addicted—I actually go weeks at a time without them, mostly because of shortages and switching insurance all the time (three jobs this year, not because of ADHD struggles but just better opportunities). It’s frustrating, though. I wish I could just function the way I want to without them.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has had this same feeling. I know I should just be grateful they exist, but instead, I feel guilty and kind of resentful that I even need them at all.

Hoping I’m not alone in this.