my bf [22M] is moving away from me [21F], and we were already long distance to begin with. what should i do?

My boyfriend and I have been long distance for almost 4 years now, since August. He has to move because the family he's living with is relocating, and he’ll be moving 3 states away from me. I’ve been really emotional about it, and over the past two days, we’ve been arguing a bit because I just can’t grasp the fact that he’s moving away. Our plan this year was for me to move with him and his family in January, although we hadn’t discussed it with them—it was just a plan. I don’t like it at my house; my family can be very toxic. My boyfriend helped me move out in 2022 after I graduated high school, and we lived together for a month before we decided to move back. We chose to move back because my family claimed they’d changed, but the only thing that really changed was the physical abuse, not the mental. I was 18 years old, and while I wanted to leave my house, we ultimately decided that even if we had a place, it would be really hard, and we weren’t ready.

I asked my boyfriend to move with my family, but he can’t because we live under Section 8 housing. He doesn’t want to move near me because he’d struggle going to college and working, and it wouldn’t be affordable for him. He also does NOT want to move with his family 2 hours away near here either because he doesn't want to live with them and he doesn't think there is much for him in that location. His plan is to get his life together in the state he’s moving to, and he hopes to marry me by 2027. He plans to stay there for a maximum of 1-2 years, God willing, and get his life together first. I’ve begged him to let me move with him and his friends, but they’ve said no. He gave me a thought a couple of weeks ago that he could possibly convince them, for me to move in with them by the time their lease agreement ends in December. It was so weird to me that they said "it would be weird having another couple there". He thinks it’s better for me to stay here with my parents since I don’t have to work, though they do ask me for money from my FAFSA when it comes in. We get into pretty toxic arguments here at home, and they won’t let me move with him unless I marry him.

I’m in college for Business Administration and should be graduating next year (though I’ve switched majors a bunch of times, so I should’ve graduated already). After graduation, I plan to pursue real estate as an income to support us while I chase other dreams like streaming and content creation. I don’t know what to do. I want to move—I hate the area I live in too. I’ve been here for over 16 years, and my family refuses to move because of my dad. He doesn’t want to leave his job, even though it’s not a good job and he could easily find something better anywhere else. The furthest I’ve moved from here was 30 minutes away, and we ended up coming back. I want to be close to my boyfriend. I want to move elsewhere more beautiful and alone with freedom to do whatever. I'd miss my family but, I don't know I just really want to be near my bf. I want to live in the same house as him, or even next door to him. I’m just so tired of the long distance. I want to cut it off.

I’ve been supportive of my boyfriend moving because it’s better for him, since he’s living with his best friend and his best friend’s girlfriend, but I can’t help but feel so emotional. I can’t take it. We’ve been together long-distance for 3 years, and now we’re looking at another 2 years, God willing. He currently lives 2 hours away from me, and he’d drive every other month to see me. But now, he’ll be 13 hours away by car. This really sucks.

What should I do? I want to be near him. I’m done with seeing him for a couple of days, then going back to online, seeing each other every month, etc. I want to be in person with him. Am I doing too much if I move to the state he’s going to and just live apart from him, but close by myself? If I prove that I can be independent and do well on my own, he might possibly move in with me. Should I even do this for him when he won’t do it for me? His lease agreement ends in December—it’s a yearly thing, so I’m mentioning that just to put it out there.

Please be kind, fully honest with me, and please help! lol.