Ex’s birthday in a few days

We split 2 1/2 weeks ago, after a weird couple of weeks when we hadn’t split but… something was up. We’ve now been mutually NC for a week and a half now. (I know… not very long), all our stuff given back etc etc…

But it’s her birthday next week. And I STILL want to buy her the present I had in mind. I know it’s silly, but I still love her, and I know she doesn’t have a lot of friends living nearby.

But… the present was a beautiful romantic book about a couple who lived together till old age. A book I know she would have loved. But… it’s a book about love, and about a couple growing old together and she tossed our relationship away almost overnight without any attempt to fix any problems.

I know I shouldn’t buy her it. It’s not very expensive or anything. But… I just can’t stop the WANT of giving her the gift I had in mind.