Into fat ppl

I think I have figured out I’m attracted to more rounder ppl. I actually have nothing against ppl like that and I don’t want to fat shame. But I’m a kinda sporty person and my family is very sporty and they always fired against ppl with more weight and somehow it was just in my education and I’m feeling beyond ashamed for being sexually attacked to body types like that. I wonder if its just a trauma thing or a rebilous thing against my family. I’m fiddling around this thoughts now for some years. My ex had been like this too and I didn’t even showed a picture to my family cause of that. They never even saw her face. How ever now I kinda have someone I like and it’s like that too again. Idk how to get rid of these bad thoughts about it. I feel sorry for both sides. How can this be such a struggle?