Ever have a good moment w/ Nparent then think your crazy?

For context, I have an insanely narcissistic and neglectful mother. Sometimes there will be a break in the cycle and she’ll be nice to me for a little bit. Maybe a day or two of normal moods then out of nowhere it’ll go back. But due to those “day or two’s” of peace, I feel like I’m going Insane. Like that I’m making her look so much worse than she is. I don’t know if this is making sense to you guys because the whole situation doesn’t even make sense to me. It’s hard to fit this into words.

I’m questioning if it’s even that bad here and I’m just making it all up in my head. But I know she’s not a good mom. So it all drives me nuts. Like I just wanna pull out all my hair and crawl on the ceiling.