Founding Fathers Beginning to Regret Whole ‘Independence’ Lark

Speaking from beyond the grave, George Washington said “honestly, George III wasn’t even that bad. He was noted for his opposition to slavery and his intense interest in helping farmers through tough times - two things which cannot be said about the present American king”.

Ben Franklin told us “oh, god, why did I say the Constitution was perfect? I bet I look really stupid now”.

Thomas Jefferson said “This is all Hamilton’s fault with his Supreme Court rubbish”.

Meanwhile, Hamilton said “This is all Jefferson’s fault”. He refused to elaborate.

We attempted to contact George III for comment, but we were using the free version of our medium, and contacting a deceased monarch requires at least a gold subscription.