4 months and I feel worse??

Hello!

My husband passed away in October he was 29 and I am 33. I know I have seen some posts on here talking about how the 4 or 4.5 month mark was particularly awful for some of you. The last few months I have been pretty medium about everything just going with the flow doing what I have to do. I have good days, but the last 2 or so weeks I feel the same as I did in October if not worse. I don't know what it is everything is overwhelming, I'm crying constantly and I just feel the heaviness all over my body.

I have a therapist and I am utilizing the grief counselor provided by the hospice company but nothing makes me feel better. again I do have decent days and I see my friends and I see my family, and I do things that make me feel "better" and I have a lot to look forward to, trips and what not, but no matter how hard I try, or how hard I tell myself to relax, everything just hurts and I am just overwhelmed with the grief in my own head.

Any advice would be appreciated if you have been here! <3