AM I.?

My father always make me feel unworthy of everything he naver appreciate me Whatever I do good or bad he find fault in it but when the same thing exactly copy things another person do he will be clapping non stop while I m longing for those clap. When I was studying my father used to say to my mother why letting girl study so much stop the studies she is girl but I fight, beg, argu for my studies and reach college I done schooling from government school he still has objection s for my studies when I reach college my only fear was fees. And as obvious my father said no to fees but I had good neighbour at that time the come to my father convening him to pay for my fees now they will take me to educational help from trust and return this money to him until I get help from trust they need money to complete admission process he still hesitate to sing check but after some pressing he sing but he didn't come to college to sing addmission form my neighbour anty and uncle sing as gurdian and my admission process completed. All five year I studied I went for educational help from here and there Without failing studies. I become graduate I went to search for job at that time to he stop me saying our house women/girl don't go for earning. Stay home learn to Mange House and get married. But again fight, beg, argu then with stubborn attitude I find job and he was away from home gone to his village at that time I find job and work for more then 6 months after 6 to 7 months he come back and saw me working and earning he start he rubbish talk Fighting everyday taunting my mother every time say she is eating girl earning daughter earning fighting with her for giving me such freedom for last 3 4 months he make my life living hell after coming form work tried thinking I will get to rest at home what I get fight argu all this sit my morals start to get weaken And finally he hit me hard with one blame saying I bunk my office go to date someone while I wasn't doing all this Raising questions to my mother saying she didn't do my upbringing well I m in off track soon I will get do some worng things so much that something I m feeling ashamed to write here I got to listen all that from my own father. With all this rubbish in the end I have to resign from my job. And now my cousin is earning well and doing job now he is taunting me saying how much of failure I m and when I sah I become like this because of you he immediately get flip saying I naver did those I naver say that makeing me a false claimer In my eye. And keep taunting me while talking about cousin how good she is earning and I have to accept all this. And I was accepting

Now the marriage talk is going on he keep saying I m unworthy of any guy out there I won't be well of if I get my marry my marriage won't survive seriously I am not even engaged and there purposal just start to come and you are saying I won't be able to manage my marriage. Now he is giving me every day trauma on marriage things. Saying I not worthy of any praposal.

My cousin marriage just got fix soon the date fixing will be decided and he going my make my life hell again with taunting. Saying look she doing so well I m just a failure of life.