I numbed myself to every feeling. Blocking out the emotional damage of the demise of our relationship. I allowed feelings of anger, distrust and my resentment over the lack of control over my own life choices take over. I tried to focus on the negative aspects of our once beautiful relationship. I am trying to protect myself from the searing pain of our reality. I dreamt about you last night and woke up bawling my eyes out. Of course I've thought about you - about us - every day. But life's circumstances just seem to pull us apart even though our souls feel a pull toward one another. I ghosted and so did you. I don't think either of us knew or know what to say. Is it better to stop talking altogether or to feel constant reminders and realizations that we can't have the life we dreamt about and talked about for so many years. People and circumstances outside of our control have kept us from pursuing the fairytale. We were in denial about it for years until we just couldn't deny it anymore. Do we just have to accept that there are problems in this world that we are just not capable of fixing? That's a very jagged pill to swallow. I feel like I'm just writing into the ether right now and I don't know what made me come on this site except that maybe writing the words down with intention and sending them drifting into the wind will somehow reach you. Even if you never read this, I hope the power and intentions of my words will reach you and you will feel my sentiments from afar. Your initials will remain permanently etched on my arm. The sweet sounds of music will always echo in my head and heart. "Is this how itt ends?". We're we writing our own prophecy? I hate and resent all of the things that have happened that have been out of our control and have kept us apart. But my love will always be there. Throughout this lifetime and all of our lifetimes to come. Forget me not, my lovely man. Please just never forget.