saw a 15 year old art prodigy and slightly lost my mind for a moment

as i got older, this is something i learned to cope with. yeah, kids are good at drawing. anyone a year younger than me could paint a mona lisa no sweat. especially with how the internet is today. way more resources and influences

but sometimes, it pokes me so deeply. because i was an art prodigy as a child, now im a boring low skill abstract cartoonist for fun. i dont have the motivation to consistently produce so i cant make money off of it. i just do it for fun since arts been a part of me since i was a toddler

i stopped drawing for years during my early teens because of how hard the trauma hit me. a chunk of my memory is missing from those years. i hit a wall in terms of my art skills and that was that. i wasnt some “prodigy” anymore

this artist is 15, FIFTEEN. very good understanding of human anatomy, amazing use of perspectives, fantastic use of color. i thought they were at least over the age of 20. fifteen years old.

and usually i can tank it. but fuck, in the moment i saw that, i felt my chest shatter like glass. that could’ve been me. that SHOULDVE been me. i used to put my blood, sweat and tears into my art. i was dedicated and i was devoted. but i had to put my blood, sweat and tears into surviving instead

every day it was: worry that hes going to kill me. i have to be nice to him or otherwise he will beat me to death or stab me. and on and on. and once he was gone, my brain couldnt process that and the fear continued. i could never sit down to draw or do work because the fear would drive me insane

its amazing to see artists so young. i admire them above everything. i bet theres thousands upon thousands of brilliant artists who were hurt too. i just wish i got to love and feel confident in my passion back then. be a child. i dont have the time to create anymore