Sick of being the unsuccessful sibling

I’ve (m32) always been in the shadow of my older sister. I struggled so much through school, College and University with learning disabilities and a mild case of autism. I’m the artistic one. I love to draw and paint and create. My sister is your typical pretty girl who has always got her own way. But not in a bratty way, things just go her way. Also she’s a mechanic so she’s always equipped with better know-how, life skills and connections. She married in her mid 20’s and had a kid to a guy with money and bought a house before covid, they split up and she somehow kept the house. I married after covid and buying a house seems so far away due to the insane prices. I quit my job for a better job that didn’t work out. She quit her job for a better job and now makes 3x more than I ever did. Last year I had kidney stones and last month got a hernia and I broke 2 teeth that I can’t afford to get looked at. She just bought a boat. I have bills I can’t pay. I start work back at my old job in a few days and I hated it there. She’s now with a new guy with more money. She’s got a lot of friends from 4x4 groups that she goes out on trips with or they come over to hers to camp and drink. I have absolutely no one I can call for a chat. I’ve always been a hermit and I don’t drink.

Life just seems so hard for me. My mum has always said Im the most unlucky person she’s ever known. I have had suicidal thoughts over the past 6 months.

My wife is amazing and we get through the hard times together and never fight and we’ve been together for 9 years this year.

My problem is I’ve always lived by "money isn’t everything" and "put happiness first". Which is what’s fucked me over. My future does not look bright because I’ve never put money first like my sister. And that sentence is so fucked to re-read. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others and I never did until recently.

And yes all my interests, qualifications and passions do not lead to a successful career.

BUT, I will admit I think I’m a better person. I have a better personality, I’m much less selfish, and I’ve had a much better marriage and relationship. I have better taste in everything (her music taste consists of radio and what’s popular, she’s not a fan of anything, no favourite movies, will skip important dialogue to get to "the good bits" in tv shows etc.). When she’s home she just works on her cars. While I do a huge variety of things like art, photography, birding and other hobbies.

I just don’t understand how I came out so different. My dad was a mechanic too so you know he was always giving her more time. It’s like my sister got all the "masculine" traits that I should have had and I got all the 1 player interests and loner traits.

Just to add too, im great with people and have confidence, I look after myself and do great at my jobs. I have no desire to have a social life. Im building my own photography/videography business that Im hoping start this year as a side gig until it grows.

Im currently coming close to finishing a children’s book Im writing and illustrating so Im hopeful that either I’ll win the lottery or my book becomes a success and then my future is saved.

TLDR; my sister prioritised money and I prioritised happiness which is more of a struggle