My husband often makes perform on an online adult video chat platform while we do it. But he doesn’t check with me if I’m okay with it. Is this a red flag? Is this sexual coercion?

When my husband (33M) and I (31F) have sex, he oftentimes brings out his laptop and logs on to a live video chatting platform, where he wants me to perform in front of random guys jerking off. The thing is, he doesn’t ask for my consent. He just quietly opens the laptop screen in front of me, while I’m naked and he expects me to perform sexual acts on live video. I sometimes shut down the laptop saying I’m not in the mood, but most of the time I play along and actually perform and even chat with men on video.

I am not sure if I like it, my husband never asks me how I felt, or asked me if I am okay with it. I honestly just emotionally shut down and just focus on what we were doing in the present moment. I find that I particularly enjoy it when it feels like the guys I interact with are genuinely kind people. It helps make me feel less objectified. I rarely see their faces though, but a lot of the time I show mine.

So my question is, is this a form of subtle sexual coercion? I am married for years and this is my first relationship. I probably do not have an accurate picture of what emotionally affectionate, consensual sex is.

My husband is not good at expressing how he feels, and he rarely ever asks how I am or how I am feeling about anything. I am starting to realize maybe this isn’t healthy or normal?