Should I not go on antidepressants

So a little backstory but I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember and I suffered from anxiety and suicidal thoughts and attempts as young as 8 yrs old. This was because I was severely abused as a kid and I was kinda that weird loner kid at school that nobody had bad beef with but didn’t hang out with. Cut to my age now (16F) and I started dating my bf let’s call him John (also 16M but he’s 6 months younger than me) and he’s hasn’t been really helpful towards me and my mental health but he’s 16 so I didn’t expect him to. Back to present day I’m finally giving antidepressants a go and idk what I’m going to get but I have so many questions but my main one is will I fall out of love with my bf, cause that’s the worse case scenario and idk wat I’d do without him. I’ve researched a lot and a lot of people have said they broke up while on antidepressants and I guess I just wanna hear ,even if it’s from one person, that we’ll be ok and we’ll get through this cause I don’t wanna loose him. (Also wat antidepressants make you loose weight cuz I don’t wanna gain weight) anyways thank you for reading and please give me advice <3