Feeling about living in an other world concerning love and relationship

Hey, I wanted to discuss this topic because I needed to get other people's opinions. So to give you some context, I'm a 23 year old INFJ (or at least something close to it), diagnosed with ADHD, and gay (I definitely won't be playing the lottery anytime soon 😂). Anyway, all that to say that at the moment, I'm actually doing pretty well, but how can I put it? I always felt a little out of place and disconnected from everything. For example, when I go out, I listen to epic music or classical music and imagine myself flying over a big city or playing an instrument in a concert hall... Then suddenly I look at a flowing river and spend 15 minutes thinking about existential questions about the damn river and about life. Then I go back to my music, and boom, I see some young people in a bar and I think about my past and all these friendships, the ones I had and the ones I didn't have... Besides, when it comes to friendships, I really struggle to stay in touch for long; I can lose interest quickly, even though I have a few good friends. But I am very empathetic.

As for romantic relationships, how should I say? It's a mess. First of all, I'm gay, and with INFJ tendencies and ADHD you can imagine the chaos. I had Grindr, and I would act on impulse, giving in to my urges and doing stupid things like going to guys' houses (even though some of them were my type), but then I found it all kind of meh, and yet I kept doing stupid things. I find myself very contradictory, and I prefer to laugh about it. Then I went on this date with a guy from Tinder where we had no physical contact and just talked for 3-4 hours (and I found him really attractive), guess what? I preferred this to my stupid experiences on Grindr. I felt really good and the conversation flowed naturally. That’s when I realized I really needed an emotional connection. That supernatural thing that transports you for a few hours. I continued to use Grindr, but after that, I didn't do anything anymore, and today I no longer use this application which was causing me pain. I really think INFJ personalities should stay away from this kind of app, no matter what they do there; It can only end badly.

All this to say that sometimes I have difficulty understanding myself, and even if I can analyze myself factually, I have difficulty understanding my emotions. Even though I can read people emotionally quickly, for me it's a disaster 😂. People often think I'm cool and calm, but in my head it's apocalyptic 24/7 because I overthink and overanalyze everything. And you? Share your thoughts and experiences with me :).