Would you cut tied?

Hi everyone,

I think this person uses Reddit, but I don’t really care if it’s identifiable at this stage.

I have had a friend since 2007 or so. We would have gotten on very well, and I introduced her to my friends and we all got on great. After some time, it was clear that my main group of mates didn’t really gel as well with her as they used to (nothing really happened, they just found her a bit off) and I decided to keep in touch with her and made plans etc. However, her partner became unwell mentally in 2012ish and she absolutely disappeared from my life. I tried to get in touch a lot to no avail.

While her partner was unwell, I found out that she had been lying about strange parts of her life. She said she attended such and such a college, but didn’t; she said she was from such and such a place, but wasn’t. I found that a bit odd, but I had stopped hearing from her so no point in confronting someone who had basically blocked me from their lives.

Fast forward to two years ago and I meet her by absolute chance at a gig. It’s been years, and she had apologised for ghosting me but the partner had since died (which I knew about, but let on I didn’t) and she was overwhelmed with life. Fair fair. We meet up multiple times, I invited her to my wedding, she invited me to her kid’s christening and all is going well until last September.

So last September I make plans with her, but she cancels because her car had issues and we live an hour or so from each other. We make plans for the week after, and now I have an issue come up and I had to cancel the day before. I immediately apologise and give her options to meet that weekend. No reply. I then message her a week or so later and nada. I then message her in November and then again in January and I am being blue ticked.

Thinking something was up, because of what’s happened in the past, I sent her a long message saying I hope something hadn’t gone wrong and hope she’s ok, but that I really don’t think it’s fair to be doing this AGAIN to me. She messages back saying that she thinks I’m not interested in our friendship and that I had cancelled a few times since we had reconnected (fair, I’ve had a mad few months and I always rescheduled asap). Throughout our text exchange she keeps saying that she just can’t find the words to say how hurt my actions have been?? I honestly have no idea what she is talking about but feel like a bit of gaslighting is going on. She then says that she wants us to be friends but that she wants to know if she should bother trying anymore in light of my confronting her…?

Anyway, I think this woman is a bit unstable, but I didn’t cherish our friendship and always have fun when I’m with her.

I know that there’s her side, my side, and the truth, but I have been very transparent and honest. I would never ghost someone for five months over something that isn’t a huge deal. I have a lot of other friends, so I’m not at a loss, but is this behaviour not a bit unhinged? Maybe I should reflect on it more, but once bitten, twice shy.