I wrote a letter to my dad.

I wrote this letter last sunday because he drove me nuts when he was forcing me to go to church. I wasn't sure if sending it, out of fear because I don't know how he'll react. I also thought that maybe weekends couldn't get any worse maybe? But they did. Today, my mom was forcing me to help her with her sunday school (which for some reason in the church I'm forced to go is done on saturday and not meanwhile sunday service happens) and I declined with a polite "sorry, have to deliver lots of stuff due tuesday." She insisted. My answer was still the same. She finally gave up, but said "okay, but you are going to assist this day's youth service in the afternoon." At that point, I got enough and said with a mad tone "NO. I AIN'T DOING THAT." She didn't say anything but was looking very incensed. Then, I went to work to my parents's room (it si far more comfortable for working than my bedroom) where my dad was sleeping, and a few minutes later my mom came, awoke my dad and said "your son is refusing to help me with sunday school and doesn't want to attend youth service either." After that, dad did a mini lecture about how I should be more involved in God's stuff, how losing 40 mins in the phone is worse than according to him inverting it in sunday school, etc. He ended his lecture with "I hope you meditate about what we just talked." After all of this shit, I was the one feeling incensed. Weekends are getting harder to keep up with or even enjoy on free weekends due to my parents's insistence with me focusing on God. My mom also asked me "don't you want to get involved with God?," to which I wanted to answer with "No. I fucking don't." but had to answer that yes I wanted. Christianity is totally rotting away my weekends, at this point I really want to send the letter accompanied by this message: "hey, I meditated what we talked about on saturday and here's my response❤️" and after that, my letter. I think I can send it on monday since my dad will go off to work and won't return until wednesday. Here it is the letter if you want to check it, I got lazy to translate it myself so it is with Google Translator. Bits are kept out to keep personal info but don't affect the overall message, and paranthesis parts are just explanations for you and are not really part of the letter: Dear Father, ‎ I am writing this not expecting a positive or supportive response, just to let you know. I stopped being a Christian a (period time), I no longer believe in God. Everything started after that y parents finding out I was gay) happened, my faith in Jesus was falling apart. I tried everything to get back to Jesus, but I never really noticed a change. I felt alone, I felt disgusting because I couldn't stop being gay. That void that only God is supposed to fill, I felt emptier than ever, even though I hadn't really stopped believing. I was afraid of things like the end of the world according to Christian mythology, I spent several sleepless nights with that same fear that it could happen that very night. Everything changed at the last day of 6th grade, I decided to look for answers in the Bible. But instead of finding them, I only found more; those questions were only the beginning of my deconstruction. That day I just started, and over the next few days I found various mistakes, nonsensical things, inconsistencies between the same book and other books, and things regarding morality that are very questionable with respect to everything we know today about human psychology. That was when I really started to feel better, that emptiness disappeared, as if it was never there; my fears regarding things related to religion began to fade, and I no longer felt guilty about being gay. I understood that I cannot and will never stop being gay - and that is okay. It felt like a weight was lifted, it was religion that was really eating me away. Again, with this I do not expect a positive response - in fact, I know that you will react badly. I am only letting you know this so that you are aware of me, as sometimes I feel that we do not have enough trust, and the fact that I had not been able to tell you this is proof of that. Also, because I feel bad knowing that you are forcing me to participate in an institution (the church) that I no longer belong to, and you insist so much on baptizing me, something that I CANNOT do, since I am NOT a Christian. I will not present you with specific reasons why I no longer believe in the Bible, since it is not my duty to make you leave the religion. It is your decision to leave the religion and I do not want to force that on you, as you forced the Christian religion on me, I know exactly how that would feel. If we are going to discuss this, it is not something that is up for debate - we will NOT do it. Any argument you provide will not convince me to return to Christianity or stop being homosexual, so a talk like that would just be a waste of time. I hope for your understanding, and above all, that you DO NOT include me in your prayers or even try to evangelize me.

Sincerely, your son, (my name).