My (44M) Wife (39F) is going to a mental health facility because of suicidal ideation and alcohol abuse. I will be working full time and staying home with our 4 kids. How many chances should I give her to get her life together?

We've been married for 15 years. I work in sales and have a good income and stable career. We have 4 kids together. All 4 kids are in school and she is a home-maker.

I earn enough money that work for her is optional. She always has little-dabbling careers but tends to quit when she gets bored. Yoga teacher, Doula, Non-Profit employee, etc.

She's always drank a little bit too much, but now she's become suicidal. Apparently she tried to kill herself when she was 12, and has had bouts of suicidal thoughts and cutting episodes that she always played off as not a big deal. Now she tells me they were a big deal.

She's been on every anti-depressant and SSRI known to man. She's done Ketamine therapy, EMDR, talk therapy, somatic therapy and keeps moving from one to the next. She switches psychiatrists regularly and gets whatever meds she wants. She comes off to the world (and Dr.'s) as someone who really has their life together, and has a pretty easy time convincing providers to give her what she wants.

This all came to a head as I learned (caught in the act) that she was filling up to-go mugs with alcohol to drive our kids to activities. She lied about it, (like she tried to lie while literally dumping alcohol into a cup in front of me) and then finally broke down when I told her I was going to leave her due to alcohol.

The lies and drama never stop. She is going away to a mental health facility for like 30 days....should I just rip off the band-aid? Through all this I'm rooting for her to get better, but this is taking a huge toll on me and is starting to take a toll on our kids. They're not fully aware what's going on, but she is an unstable person.

Further more, I am extremely lonely, and don't want to do this for another 15 years. Ideally she would recover and revert to the person I married, but I'm afraid that won't happen. I never wanted to divorce but the kids are making me reconsider. This is causing me a lot of pain.

TLDR: Wife struggles with substance and is unstable.