She used her late husband to groom me

I was laying here the other night, wanting to be back with my ex gfwBPD and had a thought to look up her late husband. She always would tell me how alike we were, how I’m just like him.

I googled his name, found his obituary and learned that… he died 3 years before she met me, one month after she remarried to whom she divorced before meeting me. I found his Facebook, saw his decent into madness. He was so happy once reading through it all. Found that she divorced him in 2015 then found a Facebook post of her excited about it on a post.

She would tell me he’d do everything for her. He was so loving and kind. Always playful and perfect in every way. How he was the provider and she stayed home. She expressed all this through sadness and told me how he would do this or that and press for me to be like him. She did the same with her recent ex husband.

She told me he died long ago, not that he was alive when she already remarried. She used her recent ex husband as a weapon, saying he was abusive to her. Telling me he would do awful things

Over 3 years she would compare me to her late husband and her recent husband. Finding out her late husband hated her until his death, his family kept her away from him, has shocked me. She lied about him, she is still using him as a weapon to victimize herself and convince you that you need to be like him.

I see her trail of sorrow she’s left behind now. I know her ex husband was not that bad, hell we would play D&D together weekly. She made him out to be so mean and abusive that we kicked him from our sessions. Now I see she was isolating me, keeping me from finding anything out. She knew I would not want to reach out. I know she lied about her late husband from his interactions with her Facebook post, post divorce. I was pulled in, used, manipulated and lied to for 3 years. Never doing enough like her late husband, got angry like her recent husband. She balanced it perfectly and I didn’t see any of it coming.